It sucks when I am incapable of handling my emotions because they feed into themselves

Like a 7-year-old asking for attention, my thoughts pester me relentlessly; I cannot shake you off of my mind

Is it the fact that whenever I hear your name, butterflies move in synchronization within my stomach?

Or that my smile is still warm whenever I see you?

Or knowing the issues you have I still want you?

Your emptiness and lack of care I'm aware of and disregard like it isn't a hindrance to me

I make up these fantasies of loving you in my head and they mock me

They taunt me every night with each melody I play and only hear your voice upon each note

They bully me to the point where tears are the only thing that could be created at this moment

I'm so sick and tired of thinking of you

These walls I placed were to prevent any intruders from invading my palace

Little did I know it was made of broken glass waiting to break

You're taking up so much space in my head and I can't remove you, like the storage on my phone

I keep trying to press delete, but as usual, that feature isn't featured in my life

I'm tired of making myself open in places and during times where I don't need to be

Tired of acting like these feelings aren't the shadows lurking behind me when I try to walk through crowds and look out for your appearance

Tired of having to imagine a reality that will never become true

Because it could be us but it's always U

I am up at 2am because the memories you gave me run around my head like clockwork

Telling me I had opportunities to lay in your bed when I know I shouldn't

To think that if I kissed you it'd mean something when it wouldn't

To think I could keep up my guard with you when I couldn't