Hello my name is Megan Harris and I am a professional procrastinator. I would say I’ve been procrastinating since I was born in July of 1997, which was almost two decades ago. I’ve gained plenty of experience throughout these years. Speaking from a professional point of view, I can honestly say that procrastination is a gift. People are constantly giving it a bad reputation, but they simply just don't understand the true art form that procrastination is. It is a talent and gift that we should learn to embrace. Luckily, I have a few tips to follow so you can become a professional procrastinator like myself. Impress your friends and family.
1. ANYTHING can be done tomorrow if you put your mind to it.
Group project? Tomorrow. Huge essay? Tomorrow. Studying? Tomorrow. This is a mindset that may take a while for you to adjust to, but it’s a lifesaver. Tomorrow’s a new day, a fresh start and the PERFECT day to have a panic attack over all your responsibilities. Focus on living in the moment and making yourself happy. You have to make yourself happy before you make others (your professors, coworkers, etc.) happy.
2. If you “forget” about it, it’s not due.
This rule works for a lot of things. A lot can be forgiven with a simple, “I got busy and forgot, I’m sorry!” I have used this tip for many situations in my life. Bonus points for this one if you throw in some tears. Usually you can buy some extra time on a parking ticket, assignment, bills, etc. if you do this right.
3. Find distractions everywhere.
Yeah, you have that paper due, but it’s also Taco Tuesday. Again, make yourself happy before you make others happy. So go live life to its fullest and find every possible excuse to get out of responsibilities. The more distractions you find, the better. Personally, I have managed to avoid a full day of homework by simply keeping myself busy all day long. Go out to eat for every meal, spend hours watching those 30-second Facebook food videos, get a pet, do anything EXCEPT handle your responsibilities.
4. Find the positive in your procrastination.
There’s a positive in every negative situation, you just have to search for it. A good example for this one is Netflix. You might start to feel bad while binge watching millions of episodes instead of studying, but you need to think about the benefits of watching Netflix. With each episode, you become more cultured in human interaction. Most shows involve a character dealing with a specific issue and fixing it. Therefor, you’re learning human interaction skills, which is something you’ll need in the real world. I’ll tell you right now that you wont be using the standard deviation formula every day in the work place, but you WILL but using people skills. You can apply this positive outlook to everything you do.
Deep down I know that procrastination is probably not the best idea, but even deeper down, I don't care. I consider my procrastination a gift and choose to look at it as a quality I can share with others. Helping others is something I strive for each and every day and I strongly believe that this will help someone out there. If you've made it this far, you may want to work on your procrastination skills because you didn’t put off reading this article.
