Caring -- one of the most important parts of life. One that is too easily taken to the extreme but shouldn’t be. We all care about our lives to some degree, but we forget to block out the distractions that come with caring about life -- for example, others' opinions on the choices we make.
Every day, we care about at least some aspect of our lives, whether it’s school, jobs, our family, our friends or even our dating life. Along with this unfortunately comes thoughts about the different decisions people make and other perspectives on life that might not pertain to ours. Too many people -- people that are in the midst of finding who they are in life -- tend to make choices based on what others will think of them. According to studies on the brain, our brains are even more satisfied about our own opinions when others agree with them, too. This doesn't mean that we can't train our brains to be satisfied by merely our own influences and satisfactions, and we should do just that. Because let's face it, we all view the world differently, and in the end, what matters the most is what we did for ourselves. In other words, we all should care differently.
Instead of worrying if our decisions will be accepted, or worrying about how ideal a part of our life is, imagine our capabilities if we converted that time spent worrying about our goals and focused on building ourselves instead.
With that being said, the attitude and mindset that says, “I don’t care” (one that is normally deemed a negative attitude towards life) is actually quite essential to being a happy person.
One of the biggest challenges of college is finding ourselves. If everyone lived life without regard to what everyone else thought, they would find the paths in life that fit them best and help build who they are. Those who tend to worry about others' opinions and make different choices than they normally would will take a detour that will leave them confused and unhappy.
Looking back at high school, I can now see that I was with the wrong crowd. I didn't feel as though I could express who I was around them. Now, I couldn’t be happier to completely be myself in college. I have met the perfect people here that I can be myself around 100 percent of the time. I find that I like the people I have met in college more than those I met in high school. Plus, most importantly, I don't believe I would have met the people I know today, or even achieved what I have achieved if I had been concerned about what others think of me. I don't want to be a clone in society; I want to be a unique individual that finds my own path in life.
The saying, “You were born an original so don’t die a copy,” couldn’t apply more to living a happy life. Learning how not to care is probably one of the hardest things to learn, right next to learning to love yourself -- but it can be life-changing.
Adapting to this mindset seems far-fetched, but it is achievable if more people realize that they have to do what's right for them. You know yourself better than anyone else, so go out there without care. As long as you are following your dreams and doing what’s right, no other opinions should matter.
And if people do judge us, who cares? The people that have a problem with the way we lead our lives are clearly not meant to be a part of it. The feeling of being accepted when you are yourself is so much more than the feeling that arises from blending in and going along with opinions.
I wonder every day if I am making the best choices for myself, but thankfully, I have started to grow out of the habit of wondering what people will think if I do anything from making a new choice to developing a new interest. I often find that the best barometer of what to do is just accepting that not everyone will completely agree with what I do -- and knowing that if that is ever the case, that's their problem, not mine.
Put yourself first, and accept that not everyone will agree with you. Everything will fall into place because in the end, everything we do only benefits us, not others. I hope the concept of care without care isn't too counter-intuitive to grasp. Not caring will free our ability to care the right way, removing us from the blocked version that society programs us to have.
