In a world full of tricky social media, it is hard to keep up. It is easy to fall behind and end up being lame on social media. Luckily, help is out there. Here is how to become the coolest kid on the Instagram block in seven simple steps. Happy Instagramming!

Step One: Pick a catchy username.

If you are serious about being an Instagram prodigy, you need to make sure your username is catchy. The current trend right now is to have some sort of pun incorporated into your username. This is really important, because no one wants to follow someone whose user name is “ballislife5259”.

Step Two: Make sure your bio is interesting.

An Instagram bio should be clever, funny, and have the right ratio of emojis to words. The ratio is as followed: Two emojis to every three words. If your bio is your name and three thousand panda emojis, no one is going to follow you and you will be a social media outcast forever.

Step Three: Pick a theme.

Instagram is a place to express your “life” in photos. Pick a theme and go with it. Post random stuff that does not even relate to you or your life to make sure your theme is not off. If you mess up your theme, all of your followers are going to notice and unfollow you. A good place to find these pictures to blend into your “life” is Pinterest and Tumblr.

Step Four: Captions.

This is the most important step. If your captions suck, you probably suck. The trend in captions is to make them funny and clever. Do not actually caption the photo what it is; that is Instagram suicide.

Step Five: Likes.

Time out your posts to ensure that you get the maximum number of likes. If you post a picture at 12:59 p.m, no one will like it. Experiment with different times until you find your peak posting time, then only post at that time. Delete the picture if you are not satisfied with the number of likes, wait two hours and then repost it. No one will notice.

Step Six: Frequency of posting.

This is a hard step to explain. The only way to sum this step up is the golden rule: DO NOT DOUBLE POST. Double posting is like wearing crocs; it just should not be done. There is a place to double post and it is called Twittter. If you double post, delete your Instagram, move to Siberia, and start all over.

Step Seven: Don’t follow any of these steps.

This is all a joke. Instagram is not that serious. If you think about it, stressing over a theme, an amount of likes, or how many followers you have is crazy. Post freely and have fun because your true followers will not judge you (except your mom, if you have an InstaMom keep it classy). If you want to post a picture of you eating a turkey sandwich at 12:59 p.m, do it. At the end of the day, it is just another social media website that we all are going ditch in three years when the next one that is way cooler comes along.