My boyfriend’s friend’s girlfriend…is my friend?
Start writing a post

My boyfriend’s friend’s girlfriend…is my friend?

In recognition of the surprising friendships that result from being the only women in the room.

20 Things To Say To Your Friend After A Breakup That She'll Actually Want To Hear

Meeting new friends through old ones is a tried and true way to make connections. After all, the two of you already have one thing in common: your mutual friend. It’s a safe bet to think that the kind of person who gets along with your loved one will also get along with you.

In this post, I want to recognize a more non-traditional path to friendship, one that often has quite awkward beginnings— making friends with the other “girlfriend,” in a room full of your partner’s male friends.

I’m sure this phenomenon takes similar forms no matter what the genders of said partners, but today I’m talking about the woman dating a man point-of-view. It’s all too familiar to show up to a get-together of your boyfriend’s friends, with all their shared interests and inside jokes, and feel like you’re the odd one out. It’s important to get to know your partner’s inner circle, of course— but let’s be honest. It’s not easy to be the only woman in a room full of loud male strangers who’ve known each other for years.

Your boyfriend might notice you struggling. Then, he gets the perfect idea to save you from your social awkwardness— introducing you to his buddy’s girlfriend.

You and her will be expected to sit and talk for most of the night while the guys do their thing. After all, why wouldn’t you get along? You’re both…women.

I used to balk at the idea of the girls being shoved in a corner while the guys got to catch up. I expressed my irritation to my friends, talking about how annoying it was that I’d be expected to spend the whole night with another random girl just because we shared the same gender. For all they knew, we had far more in common with one of the guys than we had with each other.

Then, I met one of my best friends through her boyfriend, who was one of my boyfriend’s best friends. We were introduced to each other at a get-together where we were the only women present. I felt my usual irritation at this scenario at first, but as we got to know each other, it melted away.

This girl was smart, funny, and compassionate— all traits I valued in my friends. We shared similar interests and future goals. We could even laugh about the similar traits our partners shared.

We talked for hours, and I left that party eagerly looking forward to the next one.

As the weeks went by, we soon exchanged phone numbers and began texting and hanging out on our own time. We didn’t wait for our boyfriends to want to hang out before we saw each other. And when we did get together in a big group, our partners often remarked that they felt like they were third wheels— that’s how close we’d become.

When my boyfriend and I hit a rough patch and broke up, it was this girl whose house I stayed at for a week. She helped me pick up the pieces when I was completely down in the dumps…and I never would have met her if not for that initial awkward scenario of being the only two women in the room.

Today, I’m always excited to meet the partners of my boyfriend’s friends. I’ve met two of my closest friends through those kinds of introductions, and we’ve known each other for going on two years. I know that our bonds will stand the test of time and whatever relationship ups and downs we each go through.

So, when you face the awkward situation of having to make small talk with the girlfriend of your boyfriend’s buddy, lean into it. You never know who you’ll meet. They could go on to become some of the most treasured friends you've ever had.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments