To The Girls Who Can't Make "Girlfriends"
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Politics and Activism

To The Girls Who Can't Make "Girlfriends"

Sincerely, I've had a new best friend every year

To The Girls Who Can't Make "Girlfriends"
Miss Malini

No, this won't be a "I hang out with boys because they have less drama" article because guys can have just as much drama as girls- they just handle it by hitting each other. This is truly just an article about the phenomenon concerning why it's so hard for some of us women to make lasting friendships with other women.

If we're being honest I've had a new best friend every year since maybe the 5th grade? My friend group might stay the same but I'd change up whatever girl I was closest to for whatever reason- sometimes I had a legitimate one and sometimes I just made the issues up so I could justify jumping around.

If you just found yourself nodding your head- I want you to know that it's okay. You've probably questioned at this point if the problem is YOU and not the friends you choose, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret: the problem just might be what we're institutionalized to assume about the feeding grounds that are girl cliques.

It sort of goes right back to my first statement: for whatever reason, it's beat into us that our female friend groups will always be more petty and "drama filled" than our male counterparts. While it's true that we have hormones that they don't and SOME TIMES that can contribute to our attitudes- I have seen guys take swings at each other for the dumbest of reasons. Yet somehow, we're still made to believe that being friends with guys will be less "drama" and that we should be cautious being friends with other girls- not to mention that if you "dare" to have a LOT of girl friends, apparently nothing good could come out of it.

WHY?? Why can't we be friends with other girls without having to assume the worst ending? The worst part of this is that most of us aren't even aware we have these preconceptions.

I assume that if I have one friend for too long- she'll eventually just turn against me and use everything she knows, and while they're are evil people in the world like that- I shouldn't assume that of every girl I meet. I have a caution bred into me from years of societal myths that have some how turned into "truths."

To all the other girls that realize they might be closer to this than they'd like- it's not your fault. There's nothing wrong with you (unless you're the one that exploits their secrets for no reason, then maybe it's a you problem) but just like the concept of beautiful, or what jobs we should have- the dangers of girl friends has also been forced onto us since elementary school.

Yes, there are catty girls. But there are also petty boys too. The grass is not greener and you CAN make friends with other women without fighting every other day and stealing each other's underwear or whatever it is that society thinks we do. Go forth and make friends with other women that are just as cute as you- because honestly, women are great. It's a challenge (trust me, I know) but if I can challenge myself to keep the same people around for over a year- you can do it too.

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