How To Know Your RelationShip Has Sailed

How To Know Your RelationShip Has Sailed

How is the wind today?
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"Don't try to sail your ship now by how the wind is going to be in three days" or how the wind was three days ago. "You have to sail with the winds as they are now." -Stefan Molyneux

Three days ago you and your girlfriend/boyfriend were perfect, happy, and in love. Today you wake up upset, confused, and broken. It is easy to sail your ship by how the wind was three days ago.

Yes; I know things felt right three days ago, but are you going to let this person keep breaking you apart?

It is easy to get stuck in the waves; stuck going through the motions. These waves, however, build upon each other. The feelings you are facing now will only escalate and create a storm.

It is hard to accept that your relationship is not what it used to be. It is also hard to accept that your relationship may not be heading in the direction that you've always imagined.

Has anyone told you lately that you matter, you're special, and you're worthy of a faithful and encouraging relationship? If not, or even if so, I am here to tell you that you are worth it. Hanging on to pieces of an unhealthy relationship results in an unhealthy self-image. Do not let someone else steer you away from your 'island'.

Your island can signify your home, your spirit, your past, present and future. Your island is where your dreams, your goals, and your passions dwell. This island is unique and beautiful.

Sometimes we can feel as though our relationship is like seasickness. It makes us feel disgusting and as though we cannot go on any longer. We feel sick to our stomachs. The only thing we can think of is getting off yet where do we go? There is no other land in sight, only the chaos of the water below.

At this point what do we do? Most would say stay on the ship, take the hits, continue the seasickness until there is a convenient time to get off. I would say otherwise. Confront the situation. There is no convenient time to end a relationship. Take control of the situation and verbalize how you feel. Take the wheel; do not let someone be in control of your life. Tell them you can't take the up and downs and can't see the point of sailing in a boat to nowhere.

How is the wind right now? How is your relationship right now?

Live your life on your own course.

How do you know your relationship has sailed? When you are more upset than you are happy, when you are more fearful than joyful, when you are more insecure than you are encouraged.

You know your relationship has sailed when you feel too little to take the wheel.

Take the wheel. You deserve more.

Cover Image Credit: Alpha Coders

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The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

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Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

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7 Things To Remember When You're Sad About Being Single

I don't need a significant other, I have my significant self.

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Let's stop the stigma around being single. Those who aren't in a relationship are not "weak," "missing out," "lonely," etc. We're doing just fine on our own, honey. There may be many plus sides of being in a relationship such as having a cuddle buddy, someone who, without a doubt, will always buy you food, or sharing your love for in each other in endless, cute ways. Buuuuttt... let's not forget these reasons why being single can be so amazing!

1. You save money 

Less shopping for you on Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. SAVE THAT MONEY, HONEY!

2. You can flirt with whoever you want...

...for the most part, at least. Definitely not if they already have a significant other. But now, you don't have to feel guilty for having googly eyes for someone else!

3. You can completely unplug whenever 

You don't have to worry about constantly keeping tabs on someone. No more answering to someone's every call. You can go completely tech-free whenever!

4. You have more time...

...to find yourself, love yourself, and put yourself first. Also, just more time to watch Netflix and hang with family and friends.

5. You are saying goodbye to heartbreak 

No one can breakup with you if you're single, #facts.

6. Everything you do is for yourself 

Decision making can be hard as it is, so making decisions that benefit you AND another person can be draining. Now, you don't have to worry about making someone else happy.

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