How To Know Your RelationShip Has Sailed

How To Know Your RelationShip Has Sailed

How is the wind today?
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"Don't try to sail your ship now by how the wind is going to be in three days" or how the wind was three days ago. "You have to sail with the winds as they are now." -Stefan Molyneux

Three days ago you and your girlfriend/boyfriend were perfect, happy, and in love. Today you wake up upset, confused, and broken. It is easy to sail your ship by how the wind was three days ago.

Yes; I know things felt right three days ago, but are you going to let this person keep breaking you apart?

It is easy to get stuck in the waves; stuck going through the motions. These waves, however, build upon each other. The feelings you are facing now will only escalate and create a storm.

It is hard to accept that your relationship is not what it used to be. It is also hard to accept that your relationship may not be heading in the direction that you've always imagined.

Has anyone told you lately that you matter, you're special, and you're worthy of a faithful and encouraging relationship? If not, or even if so, I am here to tell you that you are worth it. Hanging on to pieces of an unhealthy relationship results in an unhealthy self-image. Do not let someone else steer you away from your 'island'.

Your island can signify your home, your spirit, your past, present and future. Your island is where your dreams, your goals, and your passions dwell. This island is unique and beautiful.

Sometimes we can feel as though our relationship is like seasickness. It makes us feel disgusting and as though we cannot go on any longer. We feel sick to our stomachs. The only thing we can think of is getting off yet where do we go? There is no other land in sight, only the chaos of the water below.

At this point what do we do? Most would say stay on the ship, take the hits, continue the seasickness until there is a convenient time to get off. I would say otherwise. Confront the situation. There is no convenient time to end a relationship. Take control of the situation and verbalize how you feel. Take the wheel; do not let someone be in control of your life. Tell them you can't take the up and downs and can't see the point of sailing in a boat to nowhere.

How is the wind right now? How is your relationship right now?

Live your life on your own course.

How do you know your relationship has sailed? When you are more upset than you are happy, when you are more fearful than joyful, when you are more insecure than you are encouraged.

You know your relationship has sailed when you feel too little to take the wheel.

Take the wheel. You deserve more.

Cover Image Credit: Alpha Coders

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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4 Signs That You Might Be A Pushover In Your Relationship

There's a fine line between being considerate and overly-accommodating in a relationship, here are some signs to help you determine which side of the line you're on.

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While most of us consider ourselves independent individuals who are secure enough to maintain our own values while respecting someone else's, the difference between being flexible and completely bending to a romantic partner's will can be a slippery slope.

Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that everything the two of you disagree on suddenly disappears. There are times when you'll have to occasionally make concessions in order to reach a solution, but you should never be the one to relent every on every issue. If you're not sure about how you stand in your relationship here are few signs that you may be a dating pushover.

1. You let them set the pace of the relationship

It can be hard to know if things are moving at a normal speed, especially if you're new to relationships. If you feel like things are moving too quickly or like the two of you aren't on the same page and choose to ignore it because the other person is content with where you are, then you're not giving your own feelings enough consideration. A relationship is not just about one person's emotions, disregarding the ones you're unsure about to avoid making waves doesn't make you peacekeeper, it makes you a pushover.

2. Your lack of an opinion is replaced by theirs

It's okay not to have an opinion on every issue plaguing our society at the moment, but it's not okay to allow your partner to declare a stance for you. If you're having a conversation with friends and politics are being broached and your S/O prefaces their statement with "We think," -knowing darn well that you don't have anything to say about Trump's administration and they think he's the best thing since Netflix started streaming "Friends"- and you don't interject with your true feelings, then you've just let them know that their preferences are more important than yours.

3. You conform to the way they see you

People are multifaceted and complex beings. While Tinder may ask you to describe yourself by a handful of defining characteristics to better match you with a mate, you are more than just "quiet" and "indoorsy". If you find yourself with someone who reduces you to labels that complement them, chances are that the more you're around them the more you'll start to only identify yourself by those labels as well. When you conform to the 2-dimensional image that someone else has of you, you lose parts of your identity and become a social chameleon.

4. You alter your dreams to fit into theirs

It's exciting to picture your life with someone you care and are serious about. Of course, you have to make some configurations in order for things to work for the both of you, but there has to be an equal amount of compromise for it to be healthy. If you're working towards a degree that would open doors for you to meet new people and have new experiences but your S/O has dreams to get settled sooner rather than later and makes you feel like you're overreaching in your life, don't abandon your vision for something that would fit into theirs.

Being a pushover does not mean you're a weak person. I don't think anyone sets out with the intent to be a chameleon dater. Sometimes it happens gradually, two people start off in a relationship thinking that they're compatible and then one person grows more comfortable and their will and opinions turn out to be stronger than the other persons'. Other times, you just make a poor judgment call and try to make things work with someone that wasn't meant for you.

If you find yourself to be a pushover in your relationship and you're unhappy about it, you can change. Take some time to learn about yourself and figure out what you want and who you want to be. You can't choose someone who really loves you and values your mind if you don't know how you need to be loved and understood. Whether you need a to step away from the dating scene, have a conversation with your romantic partner or even take a break from them, understanding yourself will strengthen all of your relationships in the long run.

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