This is it. The last week of 2016. For some, the year flew by faster than ever, while others wished it was December ever since January 2016. Either way, it is time to make a list of your New Year’s Resolutions. Unfortunately, we typically fail to live up to our resolutions. So, what’s the point of making a list this year?
Nicole Gravagna is a renowned neurologist and author of MindSET Your Manners, and she believes there is an answer to why we fail the majority of our goals in the new year. One of the most common resolutions includes losing weight, which Gravagna claims is something we might fail to do. In order to lose weight, you usually have to put on tight clothes and workout in front of a room full of people, which makes us uncomfortable. There is a hidden goal beneath the want for losing weight: wanting to feel comfortable.
“In order to make significant changes in your life, you are going to have to get to the bottom of what you really mean when you say you want to get fit, spend more time with your family, or get a better job. What do those things mean to you?”
Gravagna has a guide for those wanting to stick to their resolutions:
- Write down or vocalize the change you want.
- Write down or discuss what it means to make this change.
- Find the underlying meaning for your change. For example, if you want to be fit, the deeper issue is finding comfort.
- Argue with yourself. Denial is a legitimate step in the process of defending choices.
- Feel the old sorrows and disappointments in order to dissolve the pain associated with your new goal.
This entire process of achieving a resolution can take anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks or months. Permanent change takes an immeasurable amount of time, but be patient and keep revisiting arguments and feelings in order to analyze your progress. Each time a new thought arises, congratulate yourself. The only way to achieve a goal is to inspect every flaw or feeling you might have. The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. Although, arguments get in the way of making a change, they are an innate battle we each have during any struggle. Remember that although you may have a nightmare of disputes with yourself, these thoughts are simply an illusion of why you can’t reach a goal. You are the one who sets something in-stone. Thinking negative will eventually lead to negative actions, so turn them around once you recognize they are impacting your goals. Keep reminding yourself why you want to change, and what this will mean to not just you, but everyone around you.
When you are able to answer, “Yes, I want to change my life, and I am willing to accept the deeper underlying meaning of the goal I have,” then you are ready to meet your goal permanently. Nevertheless, we are all on a journey to meet individualistic goals, and the most important thing to remember this last week is that we all have room for improvement. No one is perfect. You were born to be real, not to be perfect. I’m on the hunt for who I’ve not yet become.
