This is a "how-to" guide: How To Hold Your Tongue Without Getting Walked All Over.
Well, for starters, let me state that I don't have this one figured out yet. For anyone who does have a quick, step by step guide, please let me know. But even though I don't know how to hold my tongue without getting walked on, I do know how to do the following.
1. Chose the high road.
Just imagine your mom whispering in your ear to take the high road. Kindness goes a long way. When in doubt, speak kindly, or as my dad always tell me, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." This little line reminds me time and time again that it is best to separate yourself when you are mad so that you can deal with each situation rationally and calmly.
2. Pick your battles.
Once again, I can still hear my parents whispering this one in my ear when I feel like getting irrationally angry at someone. I know that some of you will probably disagree with this, but sometimes it just isn't worth it to bring it up. If you can calm down for a few minutes and then realize that you were overreacting, then it probably isn't a big enough ordeal to bring up. Be known for being kind and forgiving, not just as the person who feels the need to always defend herself. Now that is some advice that I need to take to heart.
3. Realize when you are being walked all over.
Just because you've decided to avoid conflict and confrontation (of which I am a master at), realize when everything has gone too far. When you are truly upset and not just overreacting, address the situation. Be confident, and yet be kind. Speak strongly, and yet speak with love. Defend, and yet encourage. Just because you are telling the truth about a subject or moment that is important to you doesn't mean that you need to do so harshly.
As you've already read, I don't have a simple answer for dealing with these moments. But I do know what I have experienced, and I have heard good advice from people that I respect. In everything, speak kindly, be strong, and be wise.
Some verses to turn back to when you need a real 'How To':
Proverbs 21:23 Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.
Proverbs 12:18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Luke 6:45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
Seek after Jesus in these moments, meditate on His word and He will give you wisdom.
