I believe it is inevitable that at some point in your life your heart will be broken. It is going to happen. We tend to link a broken heart with a romantic relationship, but that isn't always the case. At least that isn't the case for me. I have always said that I would be vulnerable and transparent in my writings, so here it is: My heart was broken by my biological father 10 years ago.
The worse part about it all is that I am still not completely healed from it, and it's only because I failed to recognize that I wasn't completely healed. It's scary admitting that because I never want to appear "weak." However, through this journey, I have learned that I am not the only person in the world trying to heal from the pain of my past.
There comes a moment in your life where time runs out and you need to examine your heart. If there is pain that hinders you from doing the things that you are supposed to do, then you are not completely healed. It sucks. I know, I get it. We would much rather pretend like everything is OK and move on with our life. But are we really getting to live our best life if we are carrying around the pain of the past?
Maybe you are reading this and you are arguing with yourself at this very moment. You are fighting the fact that your heart is not completely healed. Don't let your stubbornness talk you out of this wake-up call. In today's society when something is broken we throw it away or get an upgrade, but you can't do that with your heart.
Having a broken heart is not the end of the world, nor does it make you any less valuable. My friends, having a broken heart is not a bad thing.
If anything, having a broken heart makes you more human and is actually normal. So, what do we do when we can't upgrade our hearts? There are five things that I believe are essential to healing a broken heart: Jesus, Grace, People, Effort, and Time.
Always start with Jesus. Jesus is my answer to everything. However, I am realistic and I get that when dealing with tragedy not everyone wants to hear the name of Jesus. I am NOT saying that He is not the answer, but I do realize you can't just have a magical prayer and the damage is reversed. I do believe that even if you don't feel like it, you need to bring Jesus into your pain. Once you invite Him in, then it makes the process of healing a whole lot easier.
You also, always need grace. Not just the grace that Jesus gives, but the grace that you need to give yourself. Don't beat yourself up over something that you couldn't control. This is not the time to be so hard on yourself. Give yourself enough grace to cry, scream, and even sound a bit crazy at times. Learn to love yourself and to love your brokenness. Your "brokenness," is the very thing that God is going to use to reach other people. Learn to embrace your brokenness without actually staying in your brokenness.
Once you have invited Jesus into your mess and given yourself enough grace, you also need to learn to let people in. In my opinion, this one is the most terrifying. I used to think that the people I needed to share my pain with needed to be able to relate to my exact pain, but I was wrong. If you have pain from being cheated on, then you don't necessarily have to find someone who has been cheated on as well.
Don't misunderstand me, I believe there is power in hearing someone's testimony that helps you walk through the very same thing that they have overcome. However, I believe you also need people that you trust. People that aren't just there for a moment, but the very people that you do life with. For me, it is my parents and a few of my best friends. These are the people that I trust to speak life over me and are there on the hard days. You need people like this if you want to fight the pain of the past.
If you are like me, then you probably thought Jesus, grace, and people were enough. That sure does sound like enough, doesn't it? But let me ask, what actions and steps are you taking to take move forward? You need to show the effort. I secretly despise this one, because it shifts the focus and responsibility to you.
No longer can you blame someone for your hurt and pain.
You now need to take things into your own hands. It may be as simple as instead of letting other people speak life over you, you begin to wake up every morning declaring truth and freedom over your own self. Whatever your next steps are supposed to be, you know, so you need to start taking those actions. As I mentioned you need to give yourself grace, but don't forget to be honest with yourself. When is enough, enough?
Lastly, once you feel like you have done everything under the sun to heal, you need to give it time. Too many times people want to jump straight to giving it time and forget about Jesus and all of the other things. It's crucial to give it time, but don't forget about Jesus, grace, people, and effort. These things are very important, or else you will spend your whole life trying to heal from the pain of your past. God never intended you to carry your pain your entire life. He wants to turn your pain into purpose, so let Him do just that.
