I remember about two weeks ago my mom was educating me on the new “millennial” terms she had just learned. As you can probably guess, “ghosting” was one of them. Now if you aren’t familiar with what ghosting somebody means, basically, you entertain someone’s attention for a few weeks and then just randomly, without warning, cut off all communication. Why do people do this? Not a clue. Anyways, as my mom was explaining her new terms to me she decided that I needed to be given examples so her example of ghosting was “Ghosting, you know like that one guy (insert name of guy I am no longer speaking to) did to you”. Well gee thanks mom! I sincerely appreciate the reminder and now I know not share details of my dating life with you.
Funny store aside, ghosting really sucks for the person on the other end but it’s kind of a genius move if you really need to use it. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. You meet a guy, he seems great at first and then becomes a stage 5 clinger overnight. What is a girl supposed to do? First, try letting him down easy. Don't be rude just pull the whole "it's not you, it's me" move but, we all know how stage 5 clingers operate and truthfully it just won’t get the job done so, you move to plan B, not the pill, just the art of ghosting. Let me clarify that I am in no way condoning this type of behavior if you have not tried letting them down easy first. I am also not saying that karma won’t come back and bite you in the a**, but as a fellow female, I feel like it is my duty to give all my lady friends out there some easy to follow steps they can take if the moment calls for it. Let’s begin.
1. Rip off the band aid.
Just do it. Stop calling, texting, snapchatting, DMing, etc. This will only work if you are dedicated to your cause. You can’t text him when you’re lonely or need a little attention at 2 a.m.Ghosting is not for the weak hearted. It is a tactical move that is only used when the situation calls for it.
2. Avoid eye contact.
If you’re like me, you avoid eye contact with most people in public anyways but, if you are a social butterfly then listen carefully. Not only are you avoiding eye contact with the person you are ghosting, but until the dust settles, I would recommend avoiding those he is close too as well. Don’t give them a chance to ask how you are and then report back to him. You need to be strong and you need to not give them anything to report. This is not a drill, this is real life.
3. This may be the most important step because this all determines your overall success: when you are ghosting, remain that, a ghost.
I don’t care if it’s been 6 months since you spoke last, you keep it that way. Stage 5 clingers are a special breed and can’t be tempted. It’s like a dog with steak. You don’t cut a dog off cold turkey and then 6 months later decide to tempt them with a juicy steak. Of course, they are going to run up and jump on you. DO NOT TEMPT THEM! I repeat, DO NOT TEMPT THEM! I’m saying this because you don’t want to be “that girl”. Don’t be a tease. You hurt them once, now get over it and both of you move on. Don’t try to interfere in his life. You are dead to him. You are a ghost and it was your choice to become that. Just let the guy be.This may be the most important step because this all determine your overall success. When you are ghosting, you need to remain just that, a ghost.
4. Lastly, if you are going to be a ghost, remember that some guy out there will most likely do the same to you.
I am not saying you don’t have a right to be hurt but keep it together girlfriend! You did this and remember karma? Yeah, she’s collecting her payment now. So, stay chill, and revaluate why he may be ghosting you in the first place. Were you behaving like a stage 5 clinger? Did you send him 20 messages, on all different forms of social media, within an hour? I don’t know you as a person but take some time to reevaluate before you jump into the dating game again.
I hope these tips help. I am the last person who should be giving relationship advice but, if you made it this far then maybe you learned a thing or two and my work here is done.
