For every great love story, there is any even better feel-good breakup movie.
These type of movies have the same algorithm. They start out showing the painful breakup. The protagonist is shown sobbing and eating Ben and Jerry's, and then out of nowhere they are granted the opportunity to go travel to some far away land. They learn the speak the language, they fall in love with the town's handyman, and they get over their ex and realize how grand life is again.
But for the most of us, the sobbing and eating Ben and Jerry's part doesn't evolve to a grand trip. We don't have the finances or opportunities to travel and spend our days eating gelato with hot people. We have to suck it up and move on with our lives.
Despite not being able to find our peace among the seven wonders of the world, there are other ways you can move on. Sure they aren't as Instagram-able, but they will have the same outcome and make the process easier.
1. Find a good book or TV series to get invested in
Ok, I know this sounds silly, but one of the biggest reasons books and TV are so popular is because it takes us out of our world. I'm not saying to neglect everything and curl up with a bag of Hot Cheetos and binge watch 20 episodes of Lost everyday, but if you need to just escape to something else, this is always a good choice.
2. Do something that empowers you
If you take away the location in those breakup movies, you see that the protagonist is shown doing something that scares them shitless (in a good way). Well, that's what you need to do, too.
It doesn't have to be sky diving or white-water rafting (unless you want to cause hell yeah, right?), but it just should be something that puts you out of your comfort zone. Apply for that job you don't think you could get, take a road trip to your favorite far-away restaurant, learn to do a handstand. Just anything that will make you feel amazing.
3. Get involved in activities with other people
Now, I am a rather extroverted person so I am biased on this, but I have a feeling that even for an extremely introverted person, it must be hard to spend time alone when you are used to having someone else by your side.
So contact some people you know and find out if they do anything that you can get involved in. Or if you don't have any friends, do something with family. And if you don't have any family you can spend time with, join a club or group until you make friends there. I know that sounds sad and depressing, but what I'm saying is don't isolate yourself. You will get stuck in your own mind and talking to others will help you realize the life outside yours.
4. Do the one thing you didn't have time to do when you were in a relationship
Maybe this isn't the case for everyone, but I know for most of us there was always a thing we wanted to do but never found the time to do when we had to share our time with someone else.
Well now is your chance. Whether it be starting your own business, learning to play a new instrument, or simply studying harder so you can get better grades; you now have the time to do these things. Spend this time for yourself and get that done. I hate to sound like Shia LaBeouf, but just do it.
5. Don't let yourself go
If you are the person who dressed up and spent lots of time on their physique, don't let that go. It's easy to fall into a slump where you haven't conditioned your hair in days, but if you're the type who did a hair mask every week don't forget that person.
Spend as much as you would have getting ready even if it's just so you'll look good for a Snapchat pic. If doing 40 push-ups a day made you feel good, don't stop doing it just because there isn't someone to compliment your biceps.
6. Keep your mental health in check
Just like your physical health, it's important to keep your mental health in check. After a breakup, you can feel depressed and your self-esteem will go down. It can be a hard time to deal with and at different levels for everyone. If you feel yourself to be too depressed don't feel bad to reach out for help. See your campus therapist or contact your insurance provider to see where you can go to talk. This is a very important step for you to be ok again so do not neglect it.
7. Take this time to focus on you
It can be easy to find someone else who can fill that void, or to constantly focus on someone else's emotions and neglect yours. That will only delay the healing process. You need to acknowledge the hurt and build yourself up from it. Find ways to pep yourself up, take yourself out on dates, teach yourself a new hobby, etc. You need to realize how amazing you are and the only one who can show you that is you.
So as stated in these tips above, you don't need to spend a dime to get over someone. Just focus on you, do things that will make you feel empowered, and everything will be ok. I know that line is overused but that is for a reason. It has worked for the majority of people on earth and it will work for you.
Trust me.
