Some quarters I’m fine. Some quarters I get sad days. Sometimes I’m sad all freaking quarter. Why? Beats me. I’ve been to doctors, therapists, sought out help from friends, etc. Temporary fixes are definitely possible, but what about permanent ones? I’m here to tell you I have not found that one yet—unless you want me to take antidepressants. Which, to me personally, make it worse, because they cause me to feel zero emotions. That's an unnerving and consciously sad state to be in.
So, for those who have been through it all, and perhaps lost hope in finding a somewhat permanent cure, I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. There are people like me, and I am sure many others who are in the same boat as you. I know what it’s like to force a smile on some days or ignore your feelings in order to get work done. I also know what it’s like to not be able to control it, and just lose it––you become emotionally and physically exhausted. It can last minutes, hours, days, and in the worst case scenario, it can last months. You become unmotivated and quickly start to fall behind in classes, which only makes you even more sad and stressed.
This quarter has been an emotionally difficult one. There have been multiple random spurts of sadness, crying, and tons of self-doubt because of it. However, I found a few ways to help get out of it—not permanently, but it definitely makes a difference.
First of all, a good mixture of comfort foods, as well as healthy foods seems to do the trick. When you’ve hit something that feels like the lowest of lows, go ahead and eat that chocolate cake you’ve been dreaming of or all the chips you can eat in the world. However, when you are feeling relatively OK and have the oomph to do so, go ahead and try to eat something on the healthier side. This will make you and your body feel good. It can also help prevent you from getting sick like I did this quarter.
When feeling sad for an extended amount of time, especially during school, you feel tired nearly 24/7. So, when you’re honestly too tired to even focus on the task at hand, go to sleep. Not sleeping leads to even more bad moods and susceptibility to giving up. Rest up and try again when you are more awake. That may be extremely difficult to imagine, especially as finals approach, but do it for yourself.
Your mental health is so much more important—it is a priority.
Most people hear this phrase and never actually take it to heart, but at the end of the day it is what truly matters. Can you imagine how awful it would be to graduate and still be depressed, not even in the mood to go to higher education or apply for jobs? Take care of your health now, so that you can be more productive and proactive in the future.
Listen to the music that relates to you the most. It can sometimes feel frustrating when no one around you can relate or empathize with how you feel—sometimes it can make you feel more sad and more alone. Throw in some headphones, lie down and listen to all the songs your heart desires. Cry it out. Or, if you have some moments of happiness, repeat, except I would get up and dance a little. Moving to a song, particularly upbeat, can really bring up your mood.
When you feel up to it, take the opportunity to buy some of your favorite snacks and foods and go to a study area where you are most comfortable. I would suggest going out in the sun or near an open window; somewhere where you will feel the warmth of the sun, somewhere where you will be unbothered and somewhere you are able to focus. Productivity can actually change your mood for the better, and at the end of the day will make you feel happier that you used your time wisely that day.
The reason I have not mentioned journaling here is because usually when you are feeling like this, it is hard to put it into words. People ask “Why are you sad?” or “Can I do anything to help?” when truthfully, you just do not know. You can’t imagine a thing that can actually make you feel better other than something that you have to do—and that is what you are striving to look for.
I also haven't mentioned “seek help” or “talk to friends” because sometimes people have sought help and it actually didn’t help, and your friends, although they love you, simply do not understand. The message is this—do something intentionally for yourself, solely because you wanted to and because you deserve it. Doing something yourself rather than seeking external help has been, although extremely difficult and a bit rare, some of the best help I have received, perhaps because it was my doing, and not anyone else’s.
Take it a day at a time and really care for yourself. You are all you’ve got.
