I have been wondering how to get a date. Mostly because it’s what happens in the movies. According to teen movies from the eighties all I have to do is wear a special jacket and have big hair. The teen romance movies of the nineties taught me that a few despondent glances towards the horizon and a simple makeover would do it.

Realistically I should’ve realised earlier that there were oh so many flaws in using movies and books as a life guide. Yet the delusion that suddenly there would be a perfect scenario that played out in a predictable way kept the blithe romantic in me happy. Ignore the fact that none of the characters were portrayed by actual teenagers. Forget the implausibility of sudden changes and instantaneous suave-ness. No need to consider the repercussions or logistics of anything.

Because when you’re a teen, or rather, ‘a teen in looooovvvvveee’, the world is a completely different place. I still don’t have a date though, so the world is the same.

Obviously, the illusion was shattered. Less obviously, different from what pop culture led me to believe, I was not shattered. There were no tears or even a dramatic fanfare to announce that I didn’t have a date. For that I was thankful.

Because unlike in the movies, where there is an audience, there is a secret to the real world. It’s that:

“No one cares as much about your life as you do.”

And that’s freeing, not depressing! There is no one who will recall the innocent blunders that come along with the chase for a date. There are no worries about the color of my lipstick, or even if I am wearing lipstick at all! And how lovely it is to be free of convincing myself of the scrutiny of others. There can be great serenity in being aware of self-absorption.

But wait, I understand that pop culture led me astray and know now that no one else really cares if I have someone to go out on dates with at all; I don’t need a date... but that doesn’t mean I don’t want one. Not to appease the masses, or even for my own self confidence. Only because I want to go out, have fun, and get to know someone.

But herein lies the answer to both the question of ‘who?’ and the question of ‘how?’. Who better to do things with than the person who has everything in common with me? The person who is conveniently available and interested in going out at exactly the same time I am. The individual who can change the trajectory of my entire life!

Now doesn’t that sound fake. But I assure you, everyone has access to a similar perfect match. All that it takes to find them is to go to the nearest mirror and introduce yourself, to yourself.

Who better to go and do something you like with than the person who likes it just as much? Take yourself out, #treatyoself, enjoy doing something without a care if the person you are with is having a good time. Get to know yourself, if only find out what sorts of activities make you feel a spark of joy at life.

I recommend going out to eat, languid walks in the park or on a beach, watching a movie, or gazing at the stars. What a good way to strengthen and enhance the internal relationship with oneself.

There is a 100% success rate in these types of relationships, as all of them are lifelong connections.