Sometimes, it is hard to think positive. When everything seems to be falling apart and nothing seems to go your way, all you want is to whine or complain or throw a pity party. When I find myself thinking negatively about something, I like to ask myself a series of questions so I will feel better about the situation.
What can you get out of this?
You can almost always get something positive out of whatever you are in. Some times are harder than others but it is important to keep in mind. Let’s say you just failed a big exam. What can you get out of this? Instead of looking at your new current grade and how much it has dropped, pay attention to what you missed on the exam. You get to learn the right answers from the mistakes you made the first time. Hopefully, you will also know how to study differently for this class in the future.
How can you grow from this?
This is the best question to ask in a negative situation. No matter what is being thrown your way, you should always find a way to grow and mature from it. Let’s say you have just been brokenhearted. In this situation, a pity party seems very easy and appropriate, but in reality, what benefits do you gain from that? Reflect on the relationship and see why things didn’t work out and look out for those things in the future. Heartbreak is the perfect way to grow. You may not realize it right away, but you will soon. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?
How can you help others in the same situation?
Misery loves company. This is something we are all guilty of. We love to add to our pity parties because for some reason if you are miserable together, it doesn’t seem as bad. But, instead of being sad or upset together, you should try to build each other up because happiness loves company too. So when you and your friend both fail that exam, don’t go bad mouth the professor or blame the exam structure. Plan a study session and learn from each other’s mistakes. That will create a much more positive outcome in the future for the both of you.
What will you do differently next time?
This question is the key. What can I do so this doesn’t happen again? Sometimes, this is completely out of your control, and that is okay. But when you do have the power to change a negative into a positive, why wouldn't you? When you do something for the first time and show up wearing the wrong thing to an event or completely misunderstanding the assignment due today, just think, now you know for next time.
When you begin to see things through a positive standpoint, you will become happier day by day. You will become the person people want to be around because you don’t have a negative mindset. You will begin to see how things will fall back together faster because you are positive.
