YOU WON'T!

I do not intend to crush anyone's dreams or heart-felt romantic ideologies, but the truth must be said. There is not just "one" person out there for you to luckily stumble across at some point in your life, and then by chance achieve a happily ever after. You will not find "The One" for you, because there is not a "one" for you.

There are many "ones" for you. To explain this point, I must give the logic behind my above statement. For simplicity's sake, let us assume there are only 100 people on the planet. 50 are women, 50 are men. 

Everyone believes that there is only one person for them, but no one knows who his/her person is. One couple falls in love and gets married, but they have unfortunately married the wrong person for them. This means that the other 98 people have also now been messed up in their matching, and no one is able to find his/her "one" leaving everyone involved always missing his/her "one.”

However dismal this claim may seem to be, it should give everyone hope, because it means he/she has more of a choice of who he/she falls in love with instead of desperately searching for a companion.

Quick disclaimer: I am in no way saying that you should date a bunch of people at once. I am promoting choice in your romantic partner, not cheating.

You are in your position in life for a reason. You live in your current town for a reason, you go to your certain school for a reason, and you have your life dreams and goals and passions in life for a reason. All of these factors will put you in contact with hundreds if not thousands of people. This means that when you are searching for a potential boyfriend/girlfriend you should BE CHOOSY!

Look for someone with similar life goals and desires. Hold yourself in high esteem and do not choose someone who does not do the same. The freedom that comes with not just having one abstract "soulmate" means that while you are searching and praying for a husband or wife, you can pick one who aligns with what you want in life the best.

Once you find someone to share life with, your relationship with that person will deepen and it will appear as if you are soul mates (and once you are married you are intricately tied to that person's soul), but that beautiful relationship only came about by choice. Love must be a choice, otherwise, it is not love, it is robotic companionship.

So as you strive and fight through this blend of order and chaos we call life, look for a husband or wife in your circles of involvement, and be patient. As a high schooler, you may find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, I did, but you also may not. Do not worry about having your options open as you go to college.

In college, you may find a man or woman who shares your passions and dreams and if that is the case, pursue that relationship. However, you may also go all the way through college and never find someone who is willing to pursue goals alongside you, and if that is the case good.

Be patient and do not worry. Whether you are in high school or college or anywhere in life, enjoy your singleness. Define your beliefs and hold them dearly.

Secondly, do not look for a romantic partner to fill this "hole" you have in your life. News flash: they will let you down so you do not need to expect perfection from a human who is not perfect. That is not fair to them because they are held to an unrealistic standard, and it is not fair to you because you are expecting perfection when you will not get it.

Build yourself and your community through service and volunteering. Do not waste the time that God has given you as a single person in restless pursuit of a companion. Wait and define who you are so you are not using another person to fulfill/define you. You learn about yourself in singleness, so cherish it until someone comes along that you do not have to compromise who you are or who you want to be for. Then you may find your "one."

If you liked this article please like and share so it could maybe help more people. Shoutout to Shelbi Renaldo for photo creds. Look her up on Facebook if you want her to shoot some pictures for you.