Well, the happiest years of my life are back again -- braces. (Not. I did not want to return… yet here I am.) Allow me to preface that I did wear my retainers like I was supposed to. I went to my orthodontist appointments, and I never lost my retainer.

But TMJ led to a sequence of new retainers, which led to a gradual re-shifting of my teeth, which led to me as a college senior now rediscovering all the joys of eating with braces. (Yay.) So, if you have braces (or more than likely, if you have a younger sibling in braces), you may find this information helpful even if it's your first time around.

If you've had braces before, you probably remember that little goody bag from your first time coming home from the orthodontist with all the tools, tips, and a list of foods to avoid while in braces. The second time around… I got no such paper. I'm sure they assume I still have that list (I definitely don't) and that I've been around the block a time or two and know exactly what I should and should not be eating (I very well may leave some things off of this list.)

But I quickly discovered that eating with braces can be its own ordeal at times, and just like there is the "BRAT" diet for when you have a stomach bug, or a "mechanical soft" diet if you have trouble chewing or some other condition that requires mechanically altered food, I am unofficially starting the "braces" diet, to hopefully address all the altered food needs for you lucky guys and gals with all this crap inside your mouth.

1. Your mouth is in pain.

This won't last forever, but during the first day or maybe a couple of days after an adjustment, it's almost like you're on a mechanical soft diet (a.k.a. mashed potato-style foods). Once they make adjustments at your appointment, your teeth may be doing a lot of moving, and imagine trying to eat anything that remotely requires chewing with several if not all of your teeth being loose.

(It's not just your imagination; your teeth will actually be loose for a little bit.) Please do not just not eat. Your blood sugar will thank you, even if your mouth is in enough pain that your stomach doesn't think you need anything. Mashed potatoes really are a good choice during this time, but there are other options that won't make you want to cut your mouth out. Soups are typically a safe choice, as the different components are usually cooked enough to be soft. If you want to put a spin on mashed potatoes, try mashed sweet potatoes, or mashed cauliflower.

Add a little bit of cheese, cinnamon (if it's sweet potatoes), garlic, whatever you want to add to spice up your food. Vegetables will probably be best if they are steamed very well. (Broccoli that is steamed enough should be comfortable enough to eat. You lose nutrients the more that you cook it, but hey, it's just a day or two, and it's more broccoli than you might be getting otherwise.) Canned vegetables may be soft enough to eat as well.

Anything that crunches is going to be terrible, so fruits like apples or possibly even grapes are out of the question as is. Bananas may be soft enough to eat, but until your mouth feels better, applesauce and the diced fruits in the plastic cups (you know what I'm talking about, like the peaches and mandarin oranges in the juice, I'm unsure of the official terminology) are going to be your best bet.

Try to get the diced fruits that are actually in juice or water as opposed to the syrup. The syrup just adds extra sugar, and a lot of times makes it sweeter than you'd probably want it anyway. For protein, beans may be soft enough to eat, just depending on how sensitive your mouth is.

Hummus would be fine, but pita chips would probably be uncomfortable. Peanut butter is a great choice during this time, and stewed meats or ground beef or turkey may be your best choice there. Any dairy products (milk, yogurt, cheese) are probably going to be soft enough to eat without a problem. Now is probably just not the best time to go for a salad or really anything that requires much chewing.

2. You can't bite into anything.

You never realize how much of a blessing this is until you can't do it anymore. You can try, but there's always the chance you could break off a bracket (and do you really want to have to go back in and prolong your treatment any more than you have to?)

Even if you want to risk it, it just doesn't work the same with the brackets on your teeth. It's not as comfortable, and the bite is not as clean as it will be in a few months or however long it is when you finally get them off (again). This means that biting into an apple, plum, kiwi, muffin, sandwich, wrap, cookie, protein bar, corn on the cob, pizza, ribs, pieces of chicken, hot dogs, tacos, burritos, you name it, are off the table without modification. However, for most of these items, you can use either a fork and knife, or napkins, and you're good to go.

For fruits, you can slice them up (or just go with applesauce if you're short on time). You may want to consider dicing them up even further than just slices, as even the slices can be kind of difficult to manage. It's amazing how much those little brackets can interfere.

For corn on the cob, ribs, or chicken, cut the edible portion off, and eat it like you're a fancy British lady who always uses a knife and fork. (Side note - In a 7th-grade "etiquette" class, we watched a film where a British lady told us that hamburgers should be eaten with a knife and fork. I thought she was ridiculous. I am now that person.)

Be honest with your friends as to why you're eating with a knife and fork, or better yet, just tell them you're super fancy and wouldn't dare eat your food like a muggle or a plebian. For cookies, muffins, protein bars, and some sandwiches, you can totally just tear off a piece at a time and eat it. A lot of people without braces do this anyway, so it's not super weird to do. Just make sure you have napkins with you because if you're basically 5 years old like I am, you might make a mess. Just accept it and move on.

For the food purgatory that is a wrap, burrito, pizza, or some sandwiches, you may be able to make it work by just tearing off a piece at a time. My recommendation, however, is to save this technique for those you know well enough who won't judge you and just go for the fork-and-knife method with anyone else or if you just don't want to risk it. Tacos? I'd just go for the knife and fork as well.

3. The "Thou-Shalt-Not" Food Lists

Obviously, you're not going to want to eat any crunchy things when your mouth is sore. What about the rest of the time? Really hard or crunchy foods can be problematic even when your mouth isn't sore, primarily because of the way those pesky brackets interfere with your chew. Unfortunately, a lot of healthy foods are foods that crunch.

Think baby carrots, raw peppers (if you're into that kind of life), again with the fruit, nuts, seeds, etc. Even salad can sometimes (not always) be a nightmare. Eating baby carrots can be done with caution, but I never feel super comfortable doing it. I tend to go for cooked carrots while on braces, and I'll reunite with them and their party platter friend, the raw broccoli after I get these bad boys off.

While a lot of these foods may be difficult to eat with braces, (don't tell your orthodontist but…) they are doable, especially if you proceed with caution and once you get the hang of it. With any foods that are kind of crunchy, always just chew mindfully. Especially if your orthodontist is 2+ hours away, you do not want to have to worry about making an unplanned visit because you broke off a bracket or something like that.

Some other foods I remember seeing on the list to avoid were tortilla chips, popcorn, and gum. These, too, are doable; just continue to eat these items way more carefully than you would if you didn't have braces, and remember (especially after these items but in general as well) it's important to maintain good oral hygiene during orthodontic treatment. Ask your orthodontist if he's got any of those horror-story posters in his office if you haven't seen any already. That'll motivate you to floss.

At the end of the day, being in braces doesn't mean giving up on a bunch of delicious and healthy foods until you get them off. Most of your food concerns can be solved with a knife and fork and being careful with your chew.

Be mindful and go with what you're comfortable with. Consider stocking up on applesauce, nut butters, soups, and maybe even some fruit/vegetable juices. Embrace your inner fancy person when it comes to some of the more complicated foods, and hopefully, we'll be out of these things soon enough.