I do not believe in astrology, but I do have some heavy feelings about all of these tests and what they have to say about me. For the most part, I agree with everything they tell me about myself, and it freaks me out a little bit.

The first test that I took was the Myers Briggs. And yes, before you say anything, I know that the 4 letters do not tell me who I am. I know that they do not define me as an individual, but they do point out most of my character traits- for better and for worse. I am an ENFJ. And if you don't know what that means, the E stands for the extrovert. The N stands for "intuition" which means that I tend to focus on the future, with a view toward patterns and possibilities." Now, I've explained myself previously in stating that I only focus on the immediate future and not the distant one. So please note that. The F means that I make my decisions based on feelings. Anyone who knows me could have told you that one. Finally, J means that I tend to prefer the destination instead of the journey. Granted, I don't feel like I care about the destination nor the journey, and I'm just floating in the wind at this point. Is there a destination? What journey am I even on? I might be having an existential crisis, but at least I'm AWARE of it. That's the important part. Overall, in this category, I'm what you call the "Protagonist" and in short,

"Protagonists are genuine, caring people who talk the talk and walk the walk, and nothing makes them happier than leading the charge, uniting and motivating their team with infectious enthusiasm."

So, yeah.

Next, I took the Enneagram test. I didn't know what the heck it was until freshman year of college. There are many strong opinions about this test, but I think the important part is not to over-analyze what it's telling you and putting on the personality traits that they assign to you. The results are a reflection of the best version of yourself, but no test can really read your mind. With that being said, I am a type 9. This is called the Peacemaker. Peacemakers are

"...accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts."

I've seen this play out in my own life countless times. How many times have I avoided conflict? Many. How many times has that led to passive aggressiveness? 9 out of 10. However, as someone who has always been the "mom friend" I can attest that I have always enjoyed helping others heal conflicts. I don't enjoy conflict. Also, if you read more about the peacemaker, I really try to find my own inner peace. If that's off balance, then I'm off balance. When I was battling lots of anxiety, I tended to fall into the worst version of myself, and my inner peace was constantly at war. Our basic desire as nines is to have inner stability. I've noticed that I've gotten really good at finding how to attain that "inner stability" in my life. Sometimes it's doing yoga, sitting outside, or watching hours of Netflix. Other times, it's surrounding myself with people who I love and doing activities that I love, like shopping. Have you ever walked inside an Aldi and felt immediate relief? No? Just me? Well, I encourage everyone to find their Aldi. Sometimes finding inner peace requires one other human being. I used to have someone in my life that could give me a hug and I was suddenly at my inner peace. However, they were the same person causing a lot of destruction (that's a different soapbox). So, so far I have Protagonist and Peacemaker on my wonderful list of personality descriptors.

The next self-awareness stop is my love language. Right now, it's quality time. The love language really glues my Protagonist and Peacemaker traits together. I absolutely love being around people, which is the extroverted side of me. It's how I recharge. It's also how I find my inner peace sometimes. It gives me great joy to be able to go-with-the-flow and not get into arguments with anyone either. I also love when a person will come with me to do the little tasks throughout my day. Grocery shopping? Quality time. Driving? Quality time. A phone call? Perfect quality time. I feel SO loved and SO recharged having the influence of people in my life who help me find my inner peace. I feel as if feeling loved also brings out my inner peace.

Overall, I might be having an existential crisis. However, I've realized that everything about me is connected inside of this personality trait web. I'm extroverted, super feelings-based, and focused on the immediate future, while also trying to maintain stability in the present. It seems like a lot, and I know. I've realized that I'm a lot to uncover, which makes the people who spend quality time with me a lot more special. If you've been along for the ride, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.