In modern society, the world is filled with snakes. If you have been living under a rock, or aren’t up to date with social terms, the definition of a “snake” is:

snake:

1. A scamming backstabber. Someone who does something just to get something out of it.
2. A snitch.
3. Man that snake cheated me out of $220
4. Don't trust him, he's a snake.”-Urban Dictionary (SueetMonn, Urban Dictionary)

So now that we got past that, you can probably imagine a few “snakes” in your life. Maybe they are your best friend, an acquaintance, or maybe even your significant other. If you have discovered that there is, in fact, a snake in your life, just follow the proceeding steps in order to properly deal with them.

1. Identify that they are, indeed, a snake

One of the worst things that one can do is falsely accuse someone of being a snake. Usually, people don’t take being called a snake lightly. Once you make the call, you have to stick with it. That’s why it is crucial that you have taken time to truly analyze the person at hand, and truly deem them a snake. Once this step is completed, you can publicly deem said-person as a snake.

2. Make sure everyone around you knows that this person is a snake

Your knowledge of this said person’s “snakehood” is truthfully not enough to get around day to day happily. For your own happiness, and the pleasure of gossip, you must go around telling everyone that this said person is a snake. Don’t be afraid to spill all the tea and tell the entire story to everyone that passes you by. Even if they show zero interest in your story, make it known to them that this person is a snake and cannot be trusted. Hey, you are basically doing the world a favor by making them aware.

3. Block them on all social media so they cannot spy on your un-snakelike ways

Not blocking them is basically like letting them stalk you for free. Ew. Block them on everything. Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and even Facebook, if you still use that. You cannot give them the pleasure of seeing your beautiful face, or what that beautiful face is up to. All the while, keep their number unblocked, so you can watch them slither back when they need you again.

4. Look as cool and chill as possible

All the while, you must keep the appearance that nothing is actually bothering you. Yes, you went through the trouble of blocking them and antagonizing them, but you are truthfully unbothered. If you are unbothered, then the snake is going to slither away in shame. They betrayed you, but you are too cool to care! This will drive the snake so mad and you will win against them.

5. Move on, but don’t forget about the snake

Drama and gossip can only fester for so long. After a while, the drama will, and must, settle. If you try and drag the gossip out for too long, it will only look bad on your part. Therefore, you move on from the snake drama. You act chill around the said snake, knowing fully well that you cannot trust them again. However, you keep this to yourself, and never forget the trust that you don’t have with this person. From then on, you shall live a happy, and peaceful life.

“Snake.” Urban Dictionary, www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snake. Accessed 11 Sept. 2017.