As an individual who has experienced many a crush in her day, I have developed an extremely effective and healthy way of dealing with the plethora of emotions and feelings that having a crush on someone brings about. Lucky for you, I am feeling philanthropic today and have decided to share my tips on how to cope when you just can't stop thinking about that one person. As an added bonus, there are a few sage words of wisdom on how to go about pursuing your crush if you should so choose. Let's begin, shall we?
Tip #1: Cry.
Trust me on this one. Crying is a cleansing experience. You saw your crush walking on campus? Cry. They were wearing socks that emphasized their killer ankle tendons? Cry. You saw them eating an abnormally small grape? Definitely cry. Cry about it all. I promise you'll feel better.
Tip #2: Stalk said crush on all social media.
Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, Pinterest: DO THE MOST. MAKE YOURSELF MISERABLE LOOKING AT THE PICTURES OF YOUR CRUSH WITH OTHER HUMANS THAT AREN'T YOU. I'm telling you, this is therapy at it's finest. If you really want to take healing up a notch, I suggest using photoshop to replace the mildly cute face of your crush's rabbit with your own face that is, quite frankly, so much more on fleek than that salad-eating rodent's.
Tip #3: Lie to yourself.
I've been told that it's possible to fake it until you make it. I don't really know what "making it" would look like in this case, but if you're freaking out over your crush's handwriting you saw in a Snapchat, you are definitely not stable enough to confront your feelings as to why you are reacting so strongly to something so trivial, so you better just tell yourself you're fine and get on with it. I mean, hey, look how splendidly this little tidbit worked out for Ross.
Tip #4: Talk to your crush.
Chances are, talking to your crush will go swimmingly. Especially if you mention something you came across on their friend's aunt's Facebook page from four and a half years ago that involved your crush's step-cousin while you were following tip #2. I can already hear the wedding bells.
Tip #5: Relocate.
Although I'm fairly certain these other tips proved beneficial in coping with your infatuation, there is a final solution that is sure to get your crush off your mind. And that is to move. Move far away. Preferably to a place that does not have internet access. Or other inhabitants. You don't want to risk getting a crush on someone again.
There you have it. Tried, trusted, and ultra-reliable. If you just so happen to employ any of this stellar advice, let me know how it all plays out. I believe in you.
