Change can be terrifying. It is coupled with fear of the unknown and the promise of leaving your comfort zone. It wasn't until my parents drove off and left me at Rollins that I realized how much my life would be changing.
I wasn't afraid of going off to college. I was super excited. A week or so before I left for my freshman year of college, I was driving home a little after sunset. The sun was gone, but some light remained, giving everything around me a grayish glow. I drove past my high school, past the beach bridge, past the point where I was in my first car accident, and it felt strange. It was like going to visit a relative, driving through an unfamiliar town that you've seen once before. I knew where everything was, where I was going, but I didn't feel like I belonged. I realized I had nothing going on here anymore, nothing to go do. I was done. I knew I was going off to college, but it felt like something bigger was about to happen. Thing's were already changing, and I was about to jump into a big pool of more change.
To me, Rollins was this wonderful, magical, small place where big things happened. Among other things, I made great friends, met a Nobel Laureate, and learned how to Rumba, all in my first month. That doesn't mean the changes were easy. I had never been away from my family for more than a long weekend. We'd never thought about it. Somehow, I found myself a day's drive away from home with no car and over a month's time before I would see my family again, and I didn't really give much thought to that either before I took the plunge.
The excitement wore off in about three days. Those three days were filled with tons of fun, new experiences, but followed by severe homesickness. I had gone from being hugged at least three times a day, to maybe once a week. I had to wear shoes in the shower, I was eating different food, living with a roommate, and I never got a moment truly to myself. This introvert was severely overstimulated.
The truth about change is that it's everywhere. Without change, life would always be the same old boring movie on replay. Humans are creatures of habit. We like a little bit of routine. It allows us to relax, because we can pretty much guess what is coming. I experienced a true change overdose, but realize that change is okay. Small changes happen all the time. There's something new on the menu to try, you change your hair, or make a new friend. Each time you remember a memory, you actually alter it, so even the past changes. Change is actually constant. So there's nothing to worry about, unless change stops.
