Last week in North Carolina, bigots codified their ignorance and transphobia into law. The West Antarctic Ice Sheet is melting faster than expected. People in positions of power still don't believe in evolution, birth control, or climate change. Donald Trump is saying whatever terrible thing he just said -- his horrific statements come at such a rapid pace, I don't feel comfortable predicting which one will be relevant by the time this article is published. Brussels. Lahore. White supremacy. Sexism. Violence. A hundred million tragedies, personal and global.

If you are reading this, you have suffered unimaginable pains. You are probably angry and afraid, anxious and depressed. You read news articles and hear terrible stories and experience violence and pain and frustration and sometimes, sometimes, everything is crashing down on you at once.

Before anything else, know that I am so sorry about the hurt and confusion you're feeling, and the tremendous and scary things you are going through right now.

I feel those things too. You're not alone, and it's okay to be scared. Your fear does not define you.

This is not a list that can fix everything, or even try to.

These are just some ways we can try to tread lightly, even under the heavy burdens we carry.

1. Honor what you're feeling.

Many articles that give suggestions for coping with grief, depression, or despair focus on "looking on the bright side" and "finding the silver lining."

I believe this is overly simplistic advice, and it certainly comes from a place of privilege. You shouldn't ever believe you have to force yourself to feel a "better" or more "acceptable" emotion than what you're naturally feeling. Many people, because of extreme circumstances or mental health issues, are unable to will themselves into a different emotional state. And why should we try to force ourselves quickly through the natural progress of pain and healing?

If you are feeling overwhelmed and unhappy from what's going on in the world, whether with personal matters or on a larger scale, recognize that your pain is valid and understandable. Don't repress or replace your feelings. Don't avoid your emotions by just never giving yourself time to think about them (@me). Just try to sit with them, and feel what you're feeling, even if it hurts. Even if you'd rather do anything else.

And maybe read some poetry.

2. Take care of your body.

Humans are physical and metaphysical creatures. Our bodies are our beings are our minds, and vice versa -- which is just a very fancy way to say that if your body isn't taken care of, your brain will suffer.

Whenever I'm very sad/anxious/depressed, I need extra reminding that my body deserves to be taken care of. When activists do the work of pushing against the tremendous inertia of prejudice, they often drive themselves to exhaustion and neglect their physical needs. When a massive tragedy occurs and many, many people are grieving and hurt, or when you lose one person and it feels like an entire world gone, it takes a toll on the body as well as the spirit.

And sometimes you can't take care of your body. Sometimes you forget how, or you hurt your own body to feel something, or you neglect your needs because you're in tremendous pain and you forget how to make yourself feel better. That's okay. Don't punish yourself for it.

But if you can, if at all possible -- remember to love your body. Remember that it is beautiful and yours. Remember to feed it and water it, like you would take care of somebody else if they were suffering. Have compassion for it.

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
-Mary Oliver

3. Take care of your heart.

Talk to your friend. Write a letter to someone that you might never, ever send. Do something that brings you joy. Stop going on the Internet for a while; it's probably not helping. (Unless your personal situation is inescapably awful, in which case you absolutely have my permission to escape via the world wide web.) Take a walk. Seriously. Meet up with some people, and talk and talk, and work and work, until you feel like you have the power to change things. You do have the power to change things. Look for the thing, the action, the words, the person, that will remind you that the world is not always terrible--that it is, in fact, the single most beautiful thing we know of -- that people are afraid, and sometimes they act badly. But mostly they are kind, and there are so many kindnesses we never think or hear about, but they are what keeps the world from falling apart. Remember that.

4. Remember that everything is temporary.

This is, like, terrifying, so I don't blame you for skipping this one. But from a certain perspective, everything ends at some time. Every relationship, every friendship, every person, every period of time, just everything. And as scary and traumatic as that can be, that process of ending, trying to make some peace with the idea, is the essential work of human life. Because it's not just good things that go away. Laws, structures, and people that oppress and hurt others will someday disappear or transform. Pain never leaves our hearts completely, but it changes and softens. Good things come into our lives, and they'll come again into yours.

5. Remember there are good things in the world.

A non-comprehensive list of good things: "Hamilton." Peanut butter. Trees. Most plants. Dragons. Germ theory. "Harry Potter." Personal planners. Crossing the last item off of your to-do list. Orgasms. Personal victories. Libraries. Marmalade. Raw vegetables. Dance parties. Hugs. Deep, meaningful conversations with your best friend. Stargazing. A rendezvous between the grass and your bare toes. Faith.

6. Act with love.

Try to take care of each other out there. We're all we've got.

I love you.

It's going to be okay, probably.

Be good to yourself.