The queen herself admits it. You can work at something, give it everything you have and... lose. As a veteran procrastinator, I'm used to losing. But losing when you try your hardest is another issue all together. A lot of people assume that the bottom is the worst place to be, but being average is the where the waterworks start for me. It’s the “you were so close” and “there’s just some improvements to be made” that really throws me off. Whether it be a conference project, a job interview, or a conversation that you feel like you didn’t win; it's always disappointing to feel defeated. I'm here to discuss ways to cope with that disappointment.

Over spring break, I sat in an African braiding shop for seven uninterrupted hours writing a film script called "Closure." My butt lost feeling, but it was everything that I had wanted it to be. It was my first serious piece of writing. After several revisions and receiving positive feedback from family and friends, I believed in it so much that I sent it into a film festival. For days, my mom bragged to my relatives about my “nomination.” Externally, I told my mom to stop, but internally I felt like this:

I was a female powerhouse. I listened to "9-5" by Dolly Parton and imagined my E! True Hollywood Story episode. Creating what you think is the best thing since sliced bread feels great—until you crash. While procrastinating another assignment that I had put off until four in the morning, I found out that I wasn't nominated. A submission doesn't equate to a nomination; a common fact that I stupidly was unaware of. I immediately texted everyone in my friend group and complained like the drama queen that I am.

Of course, my pride came first. Who were they to tell me I wasn’t the best? Who was this insignificant committee? Then the self-loathing and feeling average settled in. Finally, to finish things off, I drafted an email to my former boss about working for Panera again because I obviously wasn't going to make it in the film industry. This all happened in the span of 30 minutes. I know what you’re thinking, and to answer your question...yes, I am ridiculous.

So I had a couple of options in this situation. The first option was to stay home, watch "Glee," and order from Sun Xing Garden. How pathetic is that though? And what opportunity does that give me to be seen? None. Another option, my personal favorite, was to pull a Kanye. I could run on stage and say “I had the best script of all time,” then run away.

But who am I kidding? That joke is told at almost every award show already and would be told at this one. Also, I can’t pull off the leather ensemble and the having to run wouldn’t be worth it. So I laid in my bed and tried to cry, but I couldn’t. That’s when I realized that I have to learn how to be a loser.

I’m not the best and that’s OK. I have a problem with thinking that I’m the protagonist, which a lot of people struggle with. In our favorite movies and books, the protagonist always gets what he/she/they want. Consequently, we all assume that we’ll be the next wunderkind and knock it out of the park on our first try. That’s the beauty of life: it’s not a movie. In the protagonist's’ story, losing and hard work are always glossed over with a montage, upbeat '90s song and shite transitions. The real life version isn’t as Third Eye Blind-esque. This isn’t just my story. The people who were nominated for their scripts are amazing. They’ve probably spent as much, if not more time than me, at perfecting their scripts. After this realization, I immediately got up and canceled my pity party. I stopped being so self-involved. As great as an Alisha show would be, now wasn't the time. So, I went to the film festival and supported my awesome friends who deserved their nominations.

That’s the advice that I have to pass on to you. Allow yourself to be sad about not winning, and then get off the couch and learn from your mistakes. I know hearing “It has so much potential,” is really a sucker punch because you wonder when potential is going to turn into success, but don't doubt your genius. You didn't win, but you're most definitely not stupid. Mama didn't raise no fool.

Allow yourself to grow by realizing that you never stop growing. There is always an opportunity to break through another ceiling. I went to a workshop where my script was critiqued and it did a lot of need work. My dad used to say, "You don't know what you don't know." Feedback is your best friend. Balance it with also having confidence in your craft, sport, idea, etc. I still love the foundation of my script but there are tweaks that need to be made that went unnoticed due to my ego. Once you humble yourself by asking how you can be better after a failure, you’ll realize being a “loser” is actually rewarding. And if you don’t believe me, the queen has said it herself.