How To Be A Fuck Boy

How To Be A Fuck Boy

This is a satire about men i've seen and heard of in my life. It's for everyone. It's informal. Enjoy.


Step One: Being Distant Helps You Discern How Honest You Want To Be.

The first step to becoming a fuck-boy is to mimic genuine emotions and pretend to give a fuck about people around you. Remember, you actually don't care about others at least not genuinely. You only care about others when it's in your benefit. Your affection is conditional. So, tell her how much you love her, and that you want her sexually, romantically, or intimately even though you don't have the emotional maturity of doing so. Tell her how much you appreciate her "aesthetic" and "vibe" even though you never actually know what the fuck you mean when you said that. Tell her how you are "not like other guys" Tell her that "she deserves better and she doesn't deserve you" because you like to give false affirmation. Tell her that you only want her even though you just recently been texting her girlfriend last week. Tell her you love her, and don't mind her insecurities and throw them back in her face in the next argument.

Tell women what they want to hear because you lack so much self-esteem to actually be honest with yourself and others. You also need have an entitled complex. You are a man-child; Man-children don't need to acquire some form of effort to give genuine connection. You believe that women should suck your dick when you tell them how much you love writing about feminism in your magazine articles. No, seriously you should.

Step Two: You Expect Women To Cover Those Past Wounds

Okay for the sake of time let's say you mastered that first part so now you need to add some flavor to your dish. This tactic gets better as you age. You need to have unresolved childhood trauma and issues in your late 20's. These issues This is where you have gone through the trials and tribulations of your teen and childhood years and now you will subconsciously take them out on your partner. Tell them how your father never hugged you and mention how you never fully recovered from seeing your pet die when you were six. Talk about how you were picked on as a kid and now you are literally becoming the people that picked on you. Actually, don't do that. Don't it often anyway. Man-children are only transparent when its convenient for them. You will only tell people these things to manipulate others, so they will feel bad for you when you explain "I've always been this way". You expect others to "fix you" and or some shit like that. You don't have any agency or personal responsibility on your own to cope with your past in a healthy way so instead, you are a vampire in the night. You stalk your prey in the shadows. You are a fucking predator. You suck the emotions out of women that you barely know in the hopes they can make you feel comfortable. You tell her that most girls don't understand you even though you barely understand yourself but that's neither here or there. You like to involve other women in your internal conflicts that she hasn't even been a part of before she even met you. You have to act like a fucking idiot. Don't worry, step three will help you not feel that conflict by pure will.

Step Three: I Feel So Numb, Babe I Can't Feel You There

Fuck-boys are dismissive as fuck. They dismiss their own emotions too. They love to feel then never feel that shit again. I don't even know where to begin on this; It's like they have a switch in their brain that tells them what they feel isn't worth feeling or something? I think it's due to high levels of anxiety. They don't want others to be involved in their mess, but ironically still involve us in their mess. That's what they do. What's the next best thing to do? They do the same shit to others. Fuck-boys aren't even receptive to their own emotions let own yours. Fuck- boys reflect what's going on their heads, so they will disregard how you feel in a situation, but lord forbid if you do the same. They can be condescending in attitude when you call them out on their shortcomings and when you become a fuck-boy, be as domineering as you can and don't even bother trying to understand others. How you feel is more important.

Step Four: I'm Nice Why Isn't She Sucking My Dick?

If you haven't already, you must believe in the friend-zone. Yes, my king, a fucking zone where men go when they don't receive any form of reciprocated "love". The "nice guy" complex is something you need to establish. Instead of valuing mutual feelings and effective communication, you value the entitlement because you are a sadboi. Even though you show affection to a girl, you believe she should be with you in some way shape or form. Men-children are interesting creatures. Instead of respecting her boundaries like a mature adult or some shit, you might go the route of making her feel bad for not being with you. Why? because you are a piece of shit. Pieces of shit don't let these types of things go. You must put your energy into people that clearly don't want you and then you tell her she should be ashamed of herself for not being with an amazing guy like you. You are an amazing guy because you made her food, talked to her, and you choose to waste your own time. You think women are supposed to give you a kiss or compliment back when you do the bare minimum. The bare minimum is being a genuine person. I know crazy right? To be the fuck-boy you have to set boundaries that are in your favor only instead of your partners. You must never value your partner instead you must desire. Desire is the key element; You must desire women because you are a socially inept asshole who wants to be applauded for not being a piece of shit. You must seek the validation from women instead yourself. That's how self-confident you are. You must be socially inept. A man-child in trainee such as yourself can't form genuine connections because you believe any women that sits down, smokes weed with you and talks about the stars is your future wife. In training to be a man-child, you have to be a shallow person. You must be superficial and vain. This your protein-shake before your fuckboy workout. You must have the social skills of a rock. Your social skills have to be so bad whenever you are out with your friends you think having conversations with women is called "spitting game." Yes, you have to think this way. Having elevator conversations is spitting game because you could never fathom just being genuine friends with women. The conversations must sound like you're a receptionist, but like for yourself? It's like the conversation itself is an empty hollow shell of its former self. Just like you. Okay, so we got that out the way. Let's get serious for a second.

Conclusion: What Is This Really About?

The act of being a fuck-boy is heavily constructed with predatorial qualities. The construction of these qualities is strategically in place to exploit women; It's an extension of hyper masculinity and toxic masculinity which has shown to be harmful to men who don't qualify of this phenotypical structure of what normative masculinity looks like. This continuation of identity configuration is built on gender subordination in which cis-heteropatriarchal men benefit from. I've been there. I've done that. I have seen that. My job is to express my distaste in the immature way's men show these predatory qualities. These issues are normalized and have been weaved in our dating lives. This is a problem that resurfaces in the violent patriarchy that drips down into the dichotomy of our relationships. This can be in any relationship from open, platonic, physical, romantic, marriage, friend with benefits, etc. Patriarchy's root is violence to women. This may not always be physical, and it isn't always outward or even noticeable to the predator or the victim. It's a covalent bond of shared energy between the mans internalized self-violence therefore the women they interact are victims to it. Women can suffer from this systematically, however; women on an interpersonal level can control the level in who they interact with to avoid this exploitation. It's the mentality by men that women must cater to these toxic traits and overall exist for the comfort and self-satisfaction men seek. This isn't because men are born with cis-heteropatriarchal ideology. It's the inherited knowledge from family, friends, and the environment that enforces harmful ways to exploit women under patriarchy. On an individual level. Men that aren't happy or get the satisfaction usually blame women because unfortunately women are seen to be the emotional barriers and caregivers to men.

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Cutting Ties With Your Ex Is Everything You Need To Get Through This Breakup

It's not about their feelings. It's about your healing.


The hardest part of a break-up is the change in your routine. It's letting go of the countless hours you have spent making someone a part of your life and having to find someone new to share your day with and watch your favorite shows with.

Breakups can get so blurry along the way and you desperately want to keep in touch and still have them in your life. It's hard to find that balance though. It's hard to find the role that ex-boyfriend/girlfriend should play and how much of a presence they should really have in your life.

We've all been there. I have SO been there. I have had messy breakups where we quit speaking and I have had quiet, peaceful breakups where neither of us could really figure out what to do next. Either way, whether it's a peaceful one, or heart wrenching and mean, the best thing to do for yourself is to not look back.

You have to make it a clean break. If only for a year, but you have to do it. No texts, no calls, no emails. No social media. Avoid Instagram, no Snapchat, no Facebook. You have to turn off the desire to check on them because you're only going to hurt yourself.

So give yourself some time. Delete them from your friends list, not to be mean, but to spare yourself. You probably need to temporarily block them too, if you're someone who will still look up their page.

This is about YOUR healing. It's not about their feelings. It's about taking care of yourself and giving your heart the room to heal, and the best way to do that is to put them in your rearview and keep moving forward, and the BEST way to do that is to cut off all contact. I have had different breakups for different reasons and the ones I always healed from faster were the ones where I couldn't see them or speak to them.

With my last breakup, my ex didn't have social media at all.

He had no Facebook or Instagram to stalk and I was forever grateful for that fact. There was absolutely nothing for me to see. No page to pull up and stare at. No images of him and a new girl in my face. No what-ifs playing in my mind as he goes on about his life. It's as if his life stopped for me completely.

I have no idea what he's doing now, and I am OK with that. I NEED to be OK with that.

You cannot expect your heart to heal if you're constantly feeding it jagged edges of once was. You can't keep cutting yourself over and over again and expect the wounds to heal.

So darling, please, with this breakup, put it all away. Give it some time. Maybe you will truly be friends later on. But not today. Definitely not today. Give yourself some room to breathe and remember that you WILL come out on top.

You always do. You always, always do.

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