All it took was one week of classes for me to decide my daily routine needed to be spiced up. Despite the unhealthy amount of sriracha I adopted into my diet, I needed more. So being the rebellious teenager I never was in high school, I began playing the most dangerous game: walking to class with both headphones in.

Now before anyone brushes aside my daring decision as no more than a form of entertainment on the approximately 10 minute walk to class, allow me to bring to attention Wash U’s most deadly obstacle. Bicyclists. In their natural habitats, Wash U bicyclists are no more than — most likely Sam Fox — students with an equal admiration for two-wheeled transportation coupled with a need for expedited transportation. But put into the environment of hundreds of students rushing to a 10am class at 9:57, they become a predatory species.

From weaving between lost freshman to riding the heels of seniors who have yet to feel the effects of their third cup of coffee, bicyclists are vicious. Meaning, needless to say, they demand respect. And respect is quite hard to yield if tangled apple earbuds occupy your ears. Which is exactly what I decided to do. The most dangerous game.

*Updates as to whether I am hit by a bike to follow*