So a few weeks ago, our freshman class had to attend this thing called "Project: Floor" where you basically learned how to college. The last one we had before break was kind of a reflection on how things might have changed since how it was when we lived at home at high school. For me, I knew nothing would have changed. Things would go as normal and I would feel just as suffocated as I did in high school.
When I got back home, my brother was still in school and my dad had to drop me off at home after he picked me up. I asked my dad if he saw any changes in me because I certainly didn't feel any different. He said I looked more happier and more confident. I thought that was ironic considering I didn't feel as happy as I could and I had a lot of bad things that happened that put me even down in the few weeks before I came home. But then I thought about it.. I made great friends that make me laugh while pushing me forward to do what I didn't think I could. Everyone at college are all supportive no matter who you are. In high school, I think it was such a struggle to fit in and try to belong somewhere. It was hard to accomplish things diligently because I was always trying to satisfy my parents' expectations. And the continuous need to pay attention to everyone else and take care of everyone else and spend less time on myself. When I did spend time on myself, I realized I didn't really have anything. So yes, compared to high school, I was more happier and more confident. It didn't come to me in a bulk but it slowly creeped into my life and just hooked itself. Even when I thought I couldn't make it through the week without my friends, my freedom, and yes, even my classes, my friends skyped with me, my parents weren't as bogging on the chains and I did some homework. It wasn't as bad.
I learned so many things in the few months I've been in college. In high school, I used to stay at home all the time because my parents were busy with work and I had to watch and care for my younger brother. In high school, I had to help out my parents with some stuff and couldn't concentrate on my work. In high school, I didn't do well because I didn't enjoy school as much. There was so many things that prevented me from enjoying school and if I didn't enjoy school, I wouldn't try as hard, because what's the point? In college, I made friends that forced me out of my room (to go study in the library). In college, I am singular. I am just me. People know me, for me. Not for my parents, not for my brother. I can fully indulge into my studies and I'm having so much doing so. I also learned in college that it's okay to spend time for yourself. Not everything has to be about everyone else. And that doesn't make me selfish. I learned that conflict isn't always bad. It can get all the negatives out and allow friends to become even closer friends. I learned that there are supportive people who will push you farther than you could've ever imagined. I'm only 3 months into college and I've learned so much.
I'm glad I chose Austin College because I probably wouldn't be able to meet such great friends if I went to a large school. I wouldn't be able to learn more about myself academically or personally. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed school this much and I guess because of that, I have become more happier and more confident.
