I was an awkward kid at twelve years old. And yes, I admit- everyone is awkward at twelve years old. But there was something about me that I felt made me stand out more and not in a good way.
I was heavier than all of my friends, I wasn’t tall, blonde, or had blue eyes- features that all my friends and classmates seemed to have. Because I was able to notice the obvious differences between my classmates and me, I began to feel unworthy. I was very self-conscious and I hated that feeling. Because I physically didn’t look like my friends, I began to do everything in my power to try and be like them in areas that I could control- makeup, clothing, etc.
When I would get home from school, the endless amounts of makeup and the clothes that I was so freaking uncomfortable in, came off. The Taylor Swift loving girl that I truly was, would come out. I would have endless dance parties in my room to my hairbrush songs: "You Belong With Me," "Fearless" and "Fifteen."
In 2010, Swift came out with a song called "Mean." This song is so Important to me because it perfectly described the situation I had been in for almost two years. There was a girl I met when I was ten that has always been, well, mean to me.
For as long as I can remember she constantly bothered me and was always telling me my jeans were too baggy, my makeup was uneven, or that my hair was too frizzy. She is someone who had fun picking on me and just pointing out every single thing that was wrong with me (as if I don’t already see it. (see what I did there)).
When this magical song came out I cried for hours because the lyrics really hit home. This song helped me realize that I wasn’t alone. It was in this moment that I realized I was done caring about what others thought of me; I was done trying to fit in.
If superstar Taylor Swift could get over the mean people, then so could I. Day by day I began to love myself a little more. I began to accept myself-physically and mentally. I started to focus more on my education and less on what people thought of me.
Although this girl continued to bother me all the way through high-school, it never bothered me again as much as it did in middle school. I was able to block out her comments and I owe Taylor Swift a huge thank you for that. Thank you, Taylor, for being there for me even if it was through a pair of headphones. Thank you for helping me realize that I was never really alone. And most importantly, thank you for the lyrics that helped me learn to love myself again.
“You are not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know you.” ~ Taylor Swift
