As a sophomore in college, I realize only now the circumstances through my life that should have inhibited me from ever going to college. I should have been average. I should have ended up ignorant to the opportunities before me. I should have settled for an existence of ignorance.

But I had a different plan for myself, one that involved an unsettling amount of hard work, stubbornness, and persistence. (And a good-humor)

My obstacles concerning education started in elementary school, where I started out in a small private church school in first grade. My parents and grandparents hoped to provide an above average education for me and my brother, so that we may have chances they never were able to have. They placed thousands of their lower-middle class dollars into a private education for us; thousands of dollars they couldn’t afford, yet always seemed to make it work through sacrificing their time and sleepless nights.

But this private education was inadequate, unregulated and based on pretenses of instilling some religious ideas into kids instead of actually providing their students with the education that their parents were paying for. The teachers were uncertified to teach (or at least not recertified since the 1980’s) and would just pass kids to the next grade each year, no matter if they could actually read or do simple. The students were all socially inept as well, as they were all church kids in a school with at most 60 kids.

The teachers at the school were all church-members of the church that was tied with the school, so nothing was secret, and they would take out their feelings about a child’s parents, on the child. I recall in 4^th grade at that school, my parents were getting a divorce and so my teacher inevitably knew about it. (Divorce at that church was taboo, everyone had their own opinions about it and just loved to make a scandal out of it) I was talking in class, while my teacher was trying to teach some 2^nd grade level reading. But instead of just disciplining me as a teacher should, she make a spectacle out of me and my unrelated personal life, in front of the whole class. She looked at me and said, “Lauren even if your parents are divorcing, that doesn’t give you a reason to disrupt my teaching.”
I was ashamed, embarrassed. My parents divorcing had nothing to do with my education, and she had no right to do that.
I also had this other teacher that hated my mother, so she would always give me B’s and C’s on assignments I deserved A’s on. I watched the two other kid’s in my grade always get A’s on all their work. It didn’t make sense. We all wrote the same answers. I always felt inadequate.
I remember a bully that would torment me every day. I hated him. He was years older than me, yet always insisted to hang around and make fun of me and steal my stuff. One day I was fed up with it, and I called him a, “bitch.” (I recall kicking him in the testicles once as well, which was well deserved)
That bully had the audacity to run to the teacher and tattle-tail on me. I remember fake crying to my Grandpa, with fake remorse. (On a side note, this is where my acting career started.)

I could go on for years about the wrongs that my brother and I faced there; how they would tease my brother mercilessly because he couldn’t read, how I was bullied for not thinking like all of them, how the teacher slapped my brother and allowed students to torment each other, one student even being duct-taped to a chair and locked in a closet. But I hope that karma will have revenge on that school, the teachers, and the church that allowed the chaos that existed and still probably exists there, to go on.

So when my brother and I moved to public school in my 5^th grade year and his 4^th grade year. We had no idea how hard we would have to work to be on the same level as the other children our age. We had to be tested to see where our learning actually was, and if we suffered from learning disabilities.
My brother was being passed to 4^th grade, by the private school, yet he tested on a pre-kindergarten reading level. So he had to be held-back into the 3^rd grade, and was put in special classes for reading, writing, and math.
I was far behind in math, but my reading and comprehension problems weren’t as extensive as my brothers, so I was able to still move forward to 5^th grade. But I still had to be put into special classes for reading, writing, and math. We were both put into speech therapy to help with our mispronunciation as well.
I didn’t know it at the time, but we were also socially inept compared to the other kids. I had only one friend, but I usually sat alone at lunch because none of the other kids liked me. I didn’t know it at the time, but teachers took notes on my social interactions and hoped for my progress in making friends.

I remember all the other kids getting honor-roll each semester, my one friend always worked hard and got principals honor roll. I wanted that. I wanted to be smart.

On a funny note, we moved seats in 5^th grade and the student that sat to my left thought I was smart or something, so he cheated on a math test looking at my paper. When we got out grades back, he saw the ‘D’ on his paper, and looked at me with such disbelief. Thankfully, he never cheated on my paper again.
But I am proud to say that by the end of 5th grade I was able to finally make honor-roll. My hard-work all year finally paid off, and I was so proud. Though I think the only person to match my pride was either my mother or my teacher. (Shout-out to all my teachers out there, I would be no-where without you all.)

I moved to middle school for 6^th through 8^th grade, and was still stuck in standard classes. I was done with it, I wanted to be in the honors classes with all 3 of my friends. I stayed after school every week for special help in math for two years, until I finally got caught up and on my grade-level. By 8^th grade I could finally join after-school activities, because I didn’t have to sacrifice my spare time to try and catch up and be on grade level. I was able to be a part of the orchestra, and drama club. Where I finally made friends, and learned that I could be the first person in my family go to college if I continued to excel in school. (I actually got honor-roll all through middle school as well.)

High school had its own obstacles both in my crazy family life, but also in school. I was finally able to take the higher level classes such as honors classes and advanced placement courses. But I was also overwhelmed with the work that came with these classes, but with the determination to go to college I continued my persevering and studying.

I joined so many clubs, immersing myself in my passions. I was in orchestra, music honor society, national honor society, drama club and I sang in my own garage band. I am proud to say that I started at the bottom of orchestra and drama club, but by senior year I was the President of Drama club as well as a respected lead actress and stage-manager, and the treasurer of the school orchestra.

I worked so hard to get where I was.

When I finally got to the end of my senior year, I had honor-roll all the way through. I had a chance to go to college. I had a chance that my parents didn’t have. I had a chance that no-one in my family had.
I had a chance to go to college.
I ended up going to Saint Edwards University in Austin, Texas, where I received a Presidential academic scholarship and I pay literally nothing for my tuition. I work and pay my own living expenses, while also playing with my band, “The Dead Coats,” and going to school fulltime for Digital Media Management.

But I hope you do not take my story of education as my trying to boost my own personal accomplishments, but as me saying that there is hope.
You can go to school. You can overcome all the obstacles in your way. Intelligence isn’t naturally given, it is an unrelenting and stubborn persistence to learn.
Stay intelligent. Stay smart. Stay stubborn.