Boys are susceptible to fall into the system of society that develops them into cold, rough-skinned, emotionless men. The stereotypes are there in plain sight from day one. As a boy you're not supposed to cry, be sensitive, or even really have feelings about anything at all. With gender roles and sexual orientation awareness being a hot topic these days in the media and politics, this issue is something that has been addressed and strides are being made to turn the stereotype around. Stereotypes affect everyone, and cause people to hide from their true identities, but maybe its time we look at what good may have come from them before we erase them completely.
“For the boys,” or more commonly known as “FTB,” is a slang phrase that became popular among teenage boys in the last few years. Before discussing the importance of this phrase, we must figure out what it actually means. It is said to have stemmed from the “hockey locker room” culture and is defined by Gong Show Hockey as, “Doing something that the boys will respect, like getting the assist on a broad.” For those not quite as familiar with the colloquial language used in this definition, “getting the assist on a broad” means helping a friend pull through in his efforts to hook up with a girl. So if we assume that this definition embodies exactly what FTB is supposed to mean then it is a tad bit exclusive and sexist to be “For the boys.” This quote is the part of a masculine stereotype that is detrimental to society at large and leads to the denigration of the male population. However, there may be a way to look at what truly means to be for-the-boys and turn it into a positive.
If we break down the quote from Gong Show and look past the surface meaning, there are actually some redeeming qualities that are apparent. The first word that pops out is “respect.” It says, “Doing something that the boys will respect,” which there is nothing wrong with in my book. Unfortunately if the only thing that boys respect is scoring a “broad” then that respect seems slightly shallow. The second word that pops out is “assist” which is a word that is full of positive connotations. To assist is to help others instead of yourself and let your worries come second. With “respect” and “assist” being the two key words, we can put them together and find something more meaningful then “broads.” It is important to respect and be respected by your boys and one way to do that is to assist each other and always be there when someone is in need. Being for the boys is more than just a shallow saying, but instead is a way to show true loyalty to the ones whom you love.
Loyalty may well be one of the most admirable traits that a man or women can possess in society. In other words, we commend those who are able to take other’s interests into consideration before their own. More specifically, we commend those who take the interests of those to whom they are supposed be loyal into consideration, i.e. “the boys.” Loyalty, although an extremely honorable trait, is another flaw that could be improved with the saying “FTB.” Why are we as males supposed to only be loyal to the boys? With the “boys” mentality being so prevalent in high school and college, it is as if all boys are supposed to be loyal to solely each other and disregard the rest. As a boy in college, I can confirm that many boys often do strive to meet the criteria that it takes to embody being FTB. Often times this involves disregarding women, rules, and even one’s own personality. It is all too easy to become a follower and forget your true identity; however, this saying has engrained the ideals of loyalty into so many including myself, that if we take the exclusivity out of FTB it can and will be a good thing to understand.
After understanding the value of loyalty that hides behind the words “for the boys” it is also important to understand where the boundaries are with this loyalty. To be devoted and to care for the ones that you love whether it is the boys or not, is paramount to healthy relationships, but it is also a slippery slope. Regardless of where your loyalties lie, they should never get in the way of who you are. It is important to trust and have the trust of your friends and family as well as yourself. Trust yourself to be who you are and not who you think those around you want you to be. It would not be very FTB to be dishonest with those whom you claim to be loyal to. In fact, honesty is one of the most important parts about having your boys’ backs because if you are not honest then you can’t possibly know if they truly even are your “boys.”
The way that I see it, we should all strive to be FTB. We should be caring and compassionate members of the community that work to improve and maintain overall well being. Whether you are a boy, girl, or anything in between, life is not worth living unless you are living for something. What if that one thing worth living for is “the boys?” It doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with gender or even people for that matter, but we should all find our “boys” to live for. It may seem juvenile and quite frankly ridiculous, but a saying like “for the boys” is perfect motivation to bring us together and live for each other rather than ourselves. I like to strive to live for the boys and I can say that confidently knowing that it means more than just being a team player in the locker room. So before we bash stereotypes about boys and other factions alike, remember that there may be ways to fix them instead of completely deleting them.
