Growing up with four older sisters in my life, I was never short of role models. While one sister taught me how to make people laugh, the other helped me learn to read and write, and so forth. The four of them helped influence me in so many ways, all of which I am still grateful for today. As I recently celebrated my 20th birthday, I began reflecting on the many ways that they helped me grow up as my four most valuable role models.

The concept of a role model is different for everyone. Some people choose celebrities as their role models, influenced only by their Instagram posts and Twitter feeds. While I agree that celebrities should be setting good examples, especially when there are young girls that may look up to them, I also grew up in the absence of most social media platforms, and therefore with a much different perspective. I have grown up believing that a role model can only truly shape you if they have a presence in your life, not just a presence in the media around you.

When my niece was born, I finally got my own turn at giving the position of role model a go. I didn’t realize it immediately, but my niece grew up and began looking to me as her playmate, her confidant, and her friend. I took on all these roles happily, we cheered each other up and we loved being around each other. When she told me that she wrote about me at school when she was given a prompt about a role model, I was shocked and flattered. I had never known that the time I spent with her was so important, but slowly I understood that what I was doing for her was what my sisters had done for me: I was helping her grow up.

I still don’t know if I’m ever doing it right. I still feel like she could’ve easily picked someone better to emulate than me. At the end of the day, when she tells me about her improving grades on her math test, or about how she’s sad her best friend may be moving, I am lucky to be one of the people in her life that she relies on. It’s helped me learn how to be a better role model for myself, as well. At the end of the day, Kim Kardashian is unlikely to teach you all of life's morals. When it comes to role models, it's the people around you that will influence you most.