Making friends has always been an eerie concept to me. It’s like, how do I know who to make friends with? Because on a college campus of about 30,000 students, it’s hard to know who would make a good friend. It’s especially awkward when you try to talk to someone and be friendly but then they turn out to be some weirdo or the complete opposite of who you thought they would be and then it’s like you try to take back everything you’ve just said to them because you have no interest in talking to them any further. There’s no actual forum for a situation like that, so that’s why I tend to be careful with who I start a ‘hey let’s be friends’ conversation with.

I’ve only been on campus for about three weeks, and I’ve already discovered a few ways to not make friends, all of which are completely unintentional. The other day, I was in a coffee shop waiting for my drink and when the barista called out “grande, iced white mocha, extra shot, extra whip,” of course I’m going to assume no one else in line had the exact same order as me. However, when I went to grab my drink, the girl who was in line behind me told me she had ordered the exact same thing and tried to start world war III about whose drink it was. In this situation, I told her my name was on the drink (which it actually wasn’t) and that I had to get going before she could look at the cup. It turns out this girl is now in one of my classes and refuses to acknowledge my existence even though I think the best of friends should order the same coffee. At least now I know there're people out there who do order the exact same coffee drink as I do.

My other graceless encounter happened on my way to class when I passed by a girl wearing the exact same outfit as me. By the expression on her face, she was probably thinking ‘how dare you enjoy the same clothes as me,’ as if every article of clothing on her body was intended to be produced for her use only. I actually thought it was pretty cool to know that my choices in clothes is favorited by not just myself, and took an appreciation in that. However, some people like to assume that their personal style is sacred and can’t be mimicked by anyone else. Just like coffee (Ha!)

Another way I’ve figured out how to make non-friends is walk into the dorm bathroom while someone is brushing their teeth. I didn’t even notice it right away, but when I walked into the bathroom during my second week on campus, the girl who lives next to me was brushing her teeth but then stopped and waited impatiently for me to leave before she continued. I’m not sure exactly why brushing teeth would be considered such a personal task to someone, but that’s why they don’t have stalls for sinks because that would just be weird.

I’ve also noticed the irritation that occurs when I go to pick up my mail the same time as someone else. I feel obligated to tell people when this happens that their mail isn’t going to get up and walk away and that I didn’t intentionally come to the mail line the same time they did just to make them angry at me, but for some reason some people believe that their packages have legs and that they must get to the front of the line ASAP, regardless of how many people are in their dorm and that mail hours don’t last all day. The mail line isn’t a drive thru, but I guess no one else has gotten that memo yet.

Don’t even get me started on the dining hall. Somehow, I usually end up taking the last of something when it’s my turn in line, and then I always get that huge sigh from the person behind me as if I genuinely wanted to make sure they weren’t able to eat the same item as me. And there’s always that agonizing pressure whenever I go to refill my drink and the person next to me is just staring me down the entire fifteen seconds.

In all realness, making friends at college is a process I abide by with caution and gentleness, especially now that I’ve seen the small irritations that exist here. Making non-friends is how I’ve enhanced my ‘college experience,’ in just three weeks.