I've always been the one to boost someone's confidence. I'll always empower anyone to be the best person they can be and never give up on what they want for themselves. I'm even one to make a person cry just by telling them how proud I am of them and that they deserve so much more than they are receiving (happened in a club bathroom lol). I love helping raise someone's confidence- and I feel this is because I lacked it in myself. Everything I would tell others was what I wanted to be told... yet it rarely occurred.
I remember being at my all-time low after my divorce. I had to start all over with my life, which was the hardest thing I have ever done. It wasn't until I decided to do something entirely out of my comfort zone when I realized I was still the bad bitch I once was. I decided to intern abroad, and it turned out to be the best decision I have ever made in my life.
With any job, one has to fake it to make it, especially if you aren't as experienced as others. When you're in a different country, that saying is 1000x more effective. You get to rebrand yourself completely, become a real-life version of your Instagram self. Not only are you giving your best self-representation, but you are representing your school and your home country, which is a big thing. I couldn't be weak and shy. I was representing good ole 'Merica! I was also representing the Gilman Scholarship program. Whom, without them, I wouldn't have interned abroad in the first place.
So I did what I had to do and acted like I was the most confident person in the room. I made myself feel like I had years of experience but was still willing to learn. When I didn't know something, I was confident enough to ask for help, which is something that many people would never do. When I did know something or had a different idea, I spoke up and helped my team. I realized my coworkers appreciated a new perspective even if they didn't use what I said, and it helped them see a different scope of the problem. I realized that every time I "faked" my confidence, I became confident and used that outside of work.
I would go out more and talk to new people - even with the language barrier. I tried new clothes that I would never wear at home but that showed me a different perspective on beauty. I walked the streets with confidence and a smile on my face because I was genuinely happy, and I wanted everyone to feel this way. My confidence had skyrocketed because I had faked it, but over time, it became a permanent thing.
Being confident wasn't acting better than anyone else but being the best version of myself. That is what I lost, but what I got back while interning. I once heard that if you fake a smile, then you can trick your brain into thinking you're happy. The same thing applies to your confidence. Being confident can open so many doors and lead you to new opportunities that many wish they had. Confidence is a big part of being a Gilman Scholar, and I wanted to show that I was worth holding that title.
Don't think you have to do something drastic to regain your confidence. Sometimes faking it is the way to go.
