Dear My Chemical Romance,
The title of this thank you letter may seem a bit cliché but bear with me. I would like to thank the members of My Chemical Romance for not only forming way back when but most importantly for the rerelease of "The Black Parade" in the recent months. I never listened to MCR when their albums were just being released. Maybe it was because I was eight when "The Black Parade" and six when "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" came out, but, I honestly think it was because of my terrible taste in music.
I grew up in Florida, and, for the past sixteen years out of my eighteen years of living, the sunshine state has made me extremely happy. No one may know where this letter is going from here, but, again, please bear with me.
I never listened to songs about death because the thought of death scared me. The thought of never being on this earth again and the thought of never seeing my loved ones again led to many sleepless nights. In March of this year, I woke up one Tuesday morning to my mom asleep in her bed. The only problem was that she never woke up. I never had the time to process what had happened because I knew I had to save her. I couldn’t save her, and I blame myself for that. The months after the worst day of my life, I was surfing the internet trying to focus on the lives of others, so I didn’t have to wither inside of my own.
One day in July, I saw that MCR was trending. I did not live under a rock, so I certainly heard of the legendary band. I read into as to why the band was trending, and I saw the outpour of “I hope they get back together,” and similar reactions from diehard fans. I became very interested in how a single band could have so much love after a simple 35-second video was uploaded to YouTube for the tenth anniversary of their album, "The Black Parade." I began to listen to the songs that were released over a decade ago. And as cliché as this letter is, the songs changed my life. After my mom passed, I went through a time where I detached myself from my life. I did not want to move on.
However, the songs about death oddly began to comfort me. I began to accept that “I’m not okay” and I possibly never will be. There were still very dark days in which I felt as though I couldn’t get out of bed. There were days when I thought of never waking up in the morning and having someone find me like how I found my mom. The worst dream was that I would simply disappear from everyone I know because I really didn’t think I was worthy of being in anyone’s presence.
On those dark days, I listen to MCR. On those days, I watch videos on YouTube about Gerard’s depression, and how the band saved his life twice and I couldn’t help but agree with him. MCR’s music is an outlet for me to be angry with the world and to be not okay with myself. MCR allows me to cry, smile, laugh and burst out singing every day.
The first time I cried listening to MCR was the first time I had listened to “Welcome to the Black Parade.” Even though my favorite album by MCR is "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge," the hit off of the 2006 record allowed me to believe that my mom is somewhere she can find peace in. The most damaging part of not seeing my mom again is that I cannot ever know how she is doing and how she spends her days. “Welcome to the Black Parade” offers me peace each time I listen to it.
I would like this letter to serve as a thank you to the guys who released a simple 35-second video at a time that I was a complete train wreck. I would like to thank the guys for changing my life, but, most importantly, saving my life. I would like all of the members of MCR to know that they are saving people now. They are saving people who never listened to their band before. This is certainly not a plea for the band to get back together, but a plea for the guys to know that they are more than just special, they are healing. All the head bangs, all the screaming, all the tours, all the music videos, all the long nights, all the laughs have saved my life and an abundance of others. Even a thank you from the bottom of my heart can’t do MCR justice, but it will at least serve as a reminder that I love them and hope they are happy.
With much love and admiration,
Kelsey Fiander-Carr
