Music has a way of making a certain distant memory very vibrant and even more so meaningful. There are a lot of songs like that for me, songs that help me remember an important moment in my life. Whenever I hear "Surfer Girl" by The Beach Boys, I will always remember the moment my dad played it for me on his guitar and convinced me that he wrote the song about me, as a joke. Of course, as a six-year-old, I believed him wholeheartedly and told everyone at school that my dad had written the song for me. My family was living in Hawaii at the time, so one can imagine how often this song played on Island Radio. I was so close to my dad as a child, and I felt so special to think that he wrote this song for his youngest daughter. I remember being crushed when my big brother realized that I had actually taken my dad seriously, and he inevitably broke the news to me. However, still to this day, whenever I hear this song, it makes me smile and think about my dad and how loved and special I felt when he played this song for me.
When the famous Hawaiian singer Iz passed away, in 1997, I was barely half a year old. I was so young, but I remember even years later, the Island was still so upset. He was known as "Bruddah Iz" around the island, and most people outside of Hawaii know him for his song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Even though I cannot remember the exact day he passed, I still remember the looks on the natives' faces when his song played on the radio. I remember being at a traditional Hawaiian restaurant when a live singer performed Iz's song. An elderly Hawaiian woman at another table silently shed tears over Iz's death. He was more than just a singer, to a lot of Islanders he was someone who finally put into words how the island felt for so many years. It was amazing to me that someone could touch so many people with his music. For me, I understood at a young age just how important music was. Music doesn't only entertain, but it is an art form that expresses a large amount of emotion and adds a melody to it. To a lot of Hawaiians, the song reminds them of home. It is a beautiful song that really embodies the faith of the Hawaii, and how strong their people are.
Eventually, my dad was stationed back on the mainland, and we ended up moving to San Diego, and I decided on attending college at the University of Arizona. It is also where I met my first love. Bastille is one of my favorite artists for so many reasons. I can connect to so many of his songs on such a personal level. He is one of my all-time favorite artists, and his song "Laughter Lines" has always stuck out to me the most. The song is talking about loving someone, and then realizing that you cannot be with them at that moment in your life, but you will see them when you are both older and the time is right. I played this song on repeat when I got my heart broken for the first time. Of course, like any other naïve 19-year-old, I believed that I would marry the first boy who broke my heart. It was one of the hardest times of my life. I would be in a movie with my friends, and something would remind me of him, and I'd break down. I found myself crying in the car when our song would come on, or even in the shower where some of your deepest and truest feelings tend to flood your mind. I was launched into depression, truly believing that I would never find another love again because he was my true soulmate. This song got me through a lot, even though I will probably never see the boy again. For me, music is an emotional crutch, it is something that I can lean on when I'm down, and it is something that will always make me feel better, regardless of the amount of pain that I'm going through.
After the breakup, I met my best friends at a party. Even as silly as it sounds, as soon as I met them, I knew that they were my lifelong friends. Each of them, I felt so connected to already. It was basically friendship at first sight. We were seemingly inseparable since day one. The song, "All My Friends" by Snakehips, that I heard with my friends last summer at Summer Fest was one of those amazing songs that is linked to an amazing memory. Summer fest is an event that comes around once a year for my friends and me. It is the most fun that we have all year, except packed into a few days. Our group consists of Samantha, Abi, Price, and myself. When we heard this song last year, we all held onto each other and were so, so happy. It was one of the best memories that I have with my college best friends. I remember looking around at them and thinking, "Wow, I really love these people." This is a memory that I will have with me until I am old and grey.
Fast forward to New Year's Eve, my boyfriend and I chose to go to a music festival to celebrate the ringing in of the fresh new year. Things between us had been a bit shaky for several months prior to the event, and we had overcome so many obstacles together. I was in a place where I loved him deeply, but I did not trust him fully. When Zedd's set came on, Price embraced me, and we just swayed together, enjoying the soft EDM music and the show filled with confetti and the sparkling lights of various colors. Finally, when "Clarity" came on to ring in 2018, Price grabbed my face and told me that he wanted me to give him my whole heart. This was when I knew that I had underrated what we had together; I realized how much I finally did trust him, and much I needed to trust him. I finally looked back at him and told him that I finally trusted him, which was a monumental moment for the both of us. All of our stresses and worries were immediately lifted from our shoulders, and we both knew in that moment that we had a new and fresh start to the new year.
I have realized finally, as a 21-year-old, that music is a type of marker in my brain, for my various memories. It is a time stamp in my mind. Music serves as an emotional crutch and is just as much an artform as writing, painting, or sculpting. Music helps people heal and grow, and even pin-point how they are feeling when they do not know it themselves. Sometimes you can hear a song and not fully understand why you feel so attached to it. Music teaches us that is okay to verbalize our feelings. It also shows us that we are not alone in our emotions. A lot of times, people tend to feel very alone in the way they feel, like no one else could understand what we are going through. However, music shows us that there are other people out there with the same strife's that we deal with. No one in the world is alone in how they feel.
Music has impacted me in ways that I don't even understand yet. In high school, Depression made his first appearance in my life, and soon after his friend Anxiety did as well. When I began to start having panic attacks, I remember the only thing that would help to stop it, would be to turn on a record and write. Music was always in the background of my life and was always a part of me. Music got me through so much and continues to do so today. Music is much more than a crutch though, it is also something that brings people together. Could you imagine going to a party, and not having music? Or cooking pancakes on a rainy Sunday morning without your favorite artist's songs filling the room? Music is a comforting element of this world and fills so many voids in people's day to day life. I cannot imagine my life without music, I think that I would be a lot worse off if I didn't have music. All in all, I am so very grateful for all of the artists that have helped mark memories that I may have forgotten otherwise.
