Master Chief, Dovakhiin, Nathan Drake. Ever find yourself playing a video game and thinking, "Screw these guys out risking their lives, I just want to go on a defined path for the rest of my life, maybe talk about the weather a little, see where it goes." Well, do I have the quiz for you! Take my definitive test to see if you have what it takes to be a Non Player Character (NPC).
1. Which answer best describes you?
A. You enjoy long walks on the beach with a loved one.
B. You're a bit shy, but love when you meet people who share your interests.
C. Your sign is Scorpio, but you've always identified with Leo more.
D. Face 1, Skin 1, Hair 1, Eyes 1.
2. Which of these activities would you rather do on a beautiful summer day?
A. Go kayaking with your buddies.
B. Catch a matinee downtown.
C. Shoot some hoops down at the park.
D. Stand outside a store with your arms crossed, telling all that pass that it's a "Lovely day, isn't it?"
3. You own a general store right off of main street, when all of a sudden, a young vagabond enters and starts stealing your merchandise! You decide to:
A. Try to talk some sense into the thief.
B. Immediately call the police.
C. Decide to take up arms and fight the burglar yourself.
D. Yell, "Hey, put that back!" at regular intervals until they've taken everything from the store and left.
4. How large would you say your vocabulary is?
A. 10,000 words
B. 1,000 words
C. 100 words
D. "Lovely day, isn't it?"
5. It seems you've misplaced your great great grandfather's priceless sword! What do you do to get it back?
A. Call your insurance agent and see what your options are.
B. Place signs around town with a picture and your phone number.
C. Contact the police department and relay them the details.
D. Do literally nothing for weeks, maybe even months, until someone much bigger and stronger than you shows up, and then ask them to find it for you.
6. You're hanging out around town, when suddenly a dragon attacks! You decide to:
A. Get indoors as fast as possible.
B. Save as many children and elderly as you can.
C. Try to fight the dragon yourself.
D. Lightly jog around in circles until it sets you on fire, and then continue to lightly jog around in circles.
7. One day as you're walking down the street, you witness a brutal stabbing no more than 10 feet in front of you. Naturally, you:
A. Chase down the suspect yourself.
B. Stay with the victim and call for help.
C. Run away in terror, screaming all the while.
D. Exclaim, "What the?!" as you investigate your immediate surroundings. After about a minute or minute and a half, inexplicably forget about the entire incident and continue on your way.
8. You've suddenly come across some unexpected wealth. Lucky you! You take the money and:
A. Hit up the casino and try to win it big.
B. Place the money into a savings account at your credit union.
C. Talk it over with your stock broker.
D. Find an ornate, yet decidedly common treasure chest, place the money inside along with some first aid kits or live ammunition, and then place it near a fairly frequented walking path.
9. What would you rather name your firstborn son?
A. Bert Gunnarsson
B. Frank Weathers
C. Captain Parker
D. Keith
10. What are you going to do after this quiz?
A. Brush your teeth and go to bed.
B. Go back to studying for that final.
C. Browse Facebook for a little bit.
D. You don't really do anything but pantomime typing anyway, so I guess go back to that.
Here's hoping you've got some free will in your life!
Results:
If you answered D for anything, you're probably a NPC. Except for 9. Those are all NPCs from Fallout: New Vegas. Got ya!
