Make Your Own Recipes

Because Caf food errs on the side of blandness, making your own recipes can really break up the monotony. Try using Caf ingredients in creative ways. Make egg salad out of chopped eggs from the salad bar. Make pizza grilled cheese in the waffle iron. Make healthier ramen noodles with spaghetti noodles, soy sauce from the Exhibition station, vegetables and the microwave. Just start with random ingredients and see what happens.

Eat Brand Name Foods

Eating brand name foods eliminates the guesswork of Caf food choices; these foods are safe and steadfast as Cheerios can always be counted on. Just mainly eat cereal. Lots of cereal. And cereal is always a good choice because it tastes amazing no matter what time of day and is usually enriched with vitamins and minerals for added ~health~. And when you see the familiar breakfast mascots on the cereal dispensers, you can be sure your stomach will thank you later.

Go With Your Gut

Follow your instincts. Not every Caf food is created equal, and you probably instinctively know which ones you should dump. Underneath your obnoxious hunger, you know that casserole is going to mess you up inside. So just trust yourself and move on. There are better foods to be had; foods that won’t cause a rift between you and your stomach; foods you can trust.

Go With Your Nose, Too

If you can smell the herb-crusted tilapia from the door, reconsider it. If the tilapia smells less like the Pacific Ocean and more like the puddle under the Long John Silvers dumpster, reconsider it. Your nose knows, my friends, and I urge you not to ignore it—especially when it comes to Caf seafood.

Wait Until Your Friends Have Eaten First

It’s a tale as old as time, really; always have someone else test the food before you eat any of it. Simply wait until all your friends have made their plates and started in on them, and then go full CIA interrogation on them. What is it? Does it taste good? Do you taste poison (food or lethal)? Do you feel like throwing up?

Cover the basics, make an informed deacons and go with God to the comfort station.

Check Out All Your Options

Unless there’s a tried-and-true option on the menu, take some time to check out every station before you decide on one thing. This method eliminates waste if you compulsively pick something you end up hating. Also, this gives you a chance to rate every item by its smell and appearance, and you can get some walking and dodging in as you weave through the lines and crowds.

Don’t Go

Obvious, but serious. One of the best ways to survive Caf food is not to go sometimes. Use your Crusader bucks to buy something from the General Store or Einsteins. Caf food can be iffy, and you should occasionally give your stomach a vacation from high-starch, low-nutrient cafeteria foods. Your stomach will thank you.