Relationships and love overall have always seemingly been the ultimate goal. Whether it be simply for companionship purposes, or to actually become involved in a serious relationship, it seems as if that’s what most of us either indirectly or directly strive for. Even from a young age we’re given this idea of finding our “other half” by mediums such as Disney movies, that portray that the key to happiness is getting married and finding the right individual to spend our lives with. This idea stretches out into our adult lives, in which we have things such as books, movies and even magazines, people are not portrayed as whole. Apart from the portrayal of being halves, we are provided with this ideal of love and what it is. We are fed that love must be filled with two passionate individuals whom can overcome any obstacle in the most unrealistic way, which is why we end up with thousands of hopeless romantics endlessly searching for their ideal person, for the person that fits this unrealistic ideal, for a person whom may never come.
However, we must quickly realize that this ideal is not only a façade to mask the true hardships that come with love, but we must also realize that we are worth being alone, that most importantly we are already whole.
The first issue that goes in hand with this superficial idea of love is the erroneous idea our destinies or our purpose in life is to find our true love. Our sole purposes in life does not involve finding the right one, our sole purposes are to follow our dreams, to become doctors, artists, musicians and even writers who will leave an immortal legacy for the rest of time. We should strive to excel in what we do, to follow our passions, to travel and to enrich ourselves with culture. These are things that can make us whole, by filling us with knowledge, by enriching us in a manner in which we are able to truly empathize with other cultures. Yet, amongst these things we may find love. However, what must be realized first is that love is not a necessity, at least not romantic love. Romantic love should always be an asset, not a necessity. Once we realize this, we will seize the presence of poor relationships with individuals that do not benefit us in any way, once we stop having this mental dependency on love for joy, we will find love.
Another issue that this superficial love provides us with is the idea that we are not truly whole; the idea that we are individuals who are half empty inside and need another to fill a void. Yet, we must see that the there is no void because we were truly whole all along. We must see that we already possess the ability to make ourselves content, that we are already exceptional on our own. Once we come to this realization we will detach ourselves from unnecessarily harmful relationships because how many countless times have we found ourselves or even a person we care about in a harmful relationship simply because there is a dependency, simply because if one leaves the relationship then they will become alone and half again. We must not be afraid of solitude, we must see that solitude is our friend, by allowing us to truly appreciate ourselves.
Finally, we must realize that love is raw and it is not perfect, that occasionally our love may not be able to overcome every obstacle. Yet, we must accept this, we must let go of the idea of love being this necessity, realizing that we are whole, that we are already spectacular all on our own.
