"I love you."
For some people, those words come easily. For most people, those words are even easier to hear. But that's not the case for everyone.
There are some girls who won't believe you when you tell them that you love them. It doesn't matter if you're their mom, sibling, friend, roommate or significant other. They simply won't believe you. Is it because they think you're a dishonest person? Nope. They can't believe you because they haven't learned how to love themselves. And it's this category of people that can be the hardest to love, but once you break through their wall, there is nothing more rewarding.
It may be hard to wrap your mind around the fact that there are girls out there who can't love themselves. It doesn't always show. Nobody straight up tells you when their self-esteem is so low that they can't find anything about themselves to appreciate. When a girl doesn't love herself, that means she can't find anything about herself that's worth other people's time, effort and energy. She'll push people away because she thinks they aren't worth her time, and the more she loves you, the more she'll push you away because she thinks you deserve better. Even when you try to tell her you love her, her walls will go up. "There's got to be something wrong with you for loving me," she will think. Even if she loves you back, she's afraid to let herself hope. Yeah, it'll be super frustrating. And sometimes you'll wonder if it's even worth it to love someone who refuses to be loved. But the day she believes you, it will be incredibly worth it.
So here's how you love the girl who doesn't love herself:
Show her she is enough. She may overthink things and let every little thing you do be an indicator that she is not enough for you. If she already thinks she has to do a lot to earn your attention, she’ll get discouraged easily. She could feel shame at wasting your time. Put down your phone and look at her when she talks to you. She will have a hard time believing you love her. Because she can’t find anything about herself to love, she’ll wonder why you invest in her. She’ll doubt you and your motives. But be patient. Keep loving. Tell her what you see in her. Deep down inside is a girl who needs affirmation from someone she loves that there is something inside her worth loving. If you can convince her that you see something special about her that you love, she'll finally give herself permission to believe you. Be patient. It'll be worth it.
