In the ever-classic chick flick “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” Kate Hudson’s character heroically shows us all the qualities in women that cause us to drive men away. 

As a college student living in a dorm, I struggle to maintain a healthy relationship with my roommate. Things like keeping the room clean and managing a good “lights out” time tend to cause strain, but somehow we manage to make it through the day without killing each other. However, if you’re really looking to drive out your roommate, all you need to do is channel your absolute worst habits. You’re bound to have your own single in 10 days or less.     

Day 1: Eat her food. Eat all of it. She will appreciate it come bikini season that she couldn’t snack on her Cheez-Its those nights she was up until the wee hours of the night studying. Besides, you already spent your entire allowance on meals outside the dining hall and you can’t afford your own snacks. You’re doing her a favor.   

Day 2: Leave your stuff everywhere. If your room doesn’t look like the equivalent of a “Hoarders: Buried Alive” episode by the end of your first week, you’re doing something wrong here.  

Day 3: Let sleeping dogs lie. Literally. Let the bitch sleep. She stayed up pretty late last night studying for her 11 a.m. exam. At least let her sleep until 10 minutes before her final to ensure she gets as much sleep possible to be prepared for her test.   

Day 4: It’s only 3 a.m. on a Wednesday! Turn on those lights and play your music as loud as it’ll go! She won’t want to miss out on the fun of everyone returning home from their night out.  

Day 5: Sure, you’re welcome to wear her top with the tags even if she didn’t already say you could wear it! She’s already out and she didn’t wear it, so it’s obviously yours for the taking.   

Day 6: It’s perfectly normal to walk around naked. Topless Tuesdays and Feeling Free Fridays are real and can actually be applied to nearly any day of the week. Reach for the stars.    

Day 7: The more the merrier! Roomie will support your decision to bring a boy home with open arms and a high five. Bonus points to you if it is past 2 a.m. on a school night.   

Day 8: If you didn’t release any type of bodily fluid in the room, did you even live in it? Add a hilarious story and memory to the books of you not quite making it to the bathroom after a rough night out.

Day 9: While helping her start moving her things out, make sure you take extra precautions to make sure that your stuff doesn’t get mixed into hers by going through every single bag. She will appreciate your thorough measures.   

Day 10: Keep doing you. You have provided another individual with 10 days of horror and memories that they can cherish throughout the next few years of college.