“Some of us aren't meant to belong. Some of us have to turn the world upside down and shake the hell out of it until we make our own place in it.”
― Elizabeth Lowell
The "Outsider." I have observed this phenomenon in my own life and throughout my life have seen it manifested in different settings and cliques. The outside friend is a part of the friend group but is on the outskirts. This friend is the last to know the gossip. This friend is never up to speed on the "inside jokes." This friend tends to sit at the end of the table, is cut off from the circle, is made to walk behind the group on a busy sidewalk, and so on and so forth. If there was a zombie apocalypse, the group would sacrifice this friend first. I am this friend. I, for the most part, am also a bastard who happens to be funny on occasion so my role in the group could very well be rocky due to that fact.
The purpose of this is to explain the outside friend to those in the inner circle and to give comfort to those of you who are the outside friend. I must address my fellow outsiders and give some advice. It sucks, I get it. I do not know your situation. Maybe you are a cheerleader and you are the heaviest on your squad. Maybe you are on the basketball team but you are the least athletic. In my studies in college, as well just observing the world around me, friends hang out because commonalities exist. The outside friend is the least like the group. It truly stings to feel unimportant. No one likes to be left out, forgotten, cut off, and treated a little worse than the others. Being an outsider destroys your self-esteem. I have found comfort in one fact, though. I am the outside friend because who I am and the interests I have are so different. I play Pokemon, yet I also play a sport in college. I play Dungeons & Dragons, yet I am the only one who doesn't look like part of the nerd herd. The point I am trying to make is that being on the outside means you are able to diversify and have many friends. It is easy to feel lonely as the outside friend, but I urge you to take advantage of your position in the group's hierarchy to expand and build new relationships.
Disparaging as it may be, the outside friend is a common role I see filled by the most unique people. Due to expanding my friend base, I have talked with a few people about this issue, and they agree that being on the outside isn't terrible. It just provides a new perspective.
