I’ve been hesitant to write this article out of fear of seeming naive and lustful. I realized, though, that the love I am in is a love that I want to share because I feel that everyone should have a love like mine.
I never understood what people meant by “he gets me” until him. He has loved me since the seventh grade. He watched me grow and change into a confident person and loved me at every stage. For the past two years he has grown and changed with me, by my side, being everything I needed to become who I am. He is a dork and a nerd at the same time, but he’s one of the hottest dorks you’ll ever see (my female/girlfriend privilege allows me to objectify him any way I want). He loves science (which I hate) and plays jazz (which I love) and he’s nothing like the other guys I know. He doesn’t play “typical” sports (lacrosse, baseball, basketball, etc.) but always puts 110% into whatever he does try (golf, karate, guitar, cooking). Almost everything he is is everything I’m not. He feels deeply and falls easily, he never picks a fight but communicates, he doesn’t care the slightest inch about what other people think of him, and he always does what makes him happy. He’s responsible and loyal and puts my needs first even when I don’t want him to. He fills so much more than the holes in my heart, he fills the holes in my soul. He knows me better than I know myself. He loves me with his whole being.
We’re 18 years old. In 31 days, he’ll be moving to college in Allentown and I’ll be on my way to Long Island. He’s loved someone else, but never been with anyone else, and I haven’t been single for almost five years. We’re 18 years old. His mom does not like me and my family thinks I could do better. I want to travel the world and not live in central Jersey for the rest of my life, and he wants to be a doctor.
We’re 18 years old. He is my best friend and was that before he was anything else to me. He listens intently and shares willingly. He has big dreams and small hopes and is so good at being there for me. No one is ever there the way he is. Our love is a Carl and Ellie romance without the death and balloons. My wild spirit is tempered by his mild one and our Adventure Book is long with plans. He’s the one I want to hug, kiss, cry with, laugh with, do bills and eat pancakes with. I want the boredom of life to be boring with him. I want to hold his hand forever. I selfishly wish for him to give up his life so he can do mine with me, and he would if I asked him to. We’re 18 years old and I found The One who I can’t see my life without.
Finding “The One” too early is being a passenger on a plane. You’re hesitant to get on because you know it’s going to end, but once you’re in the air you’re flying and it’s so incredible you almost forget that you could crash land at any moment. Then suddenly, the pilot tells you to buckle your seatbelt for descent and you realize that you’ve been coasting for so long you never thought the ride was going to end. Nothing went wrong, there wasn’t any turbulence, so there was no reason to bail out or jump off. You land safely on the ground and sit at the back of the plane waiting for everyone else to get off before you do because you’re only in Oklahoma visiting the irritating side of your family for a funeral and you really don’t want to disembark. Eventually you have to disembark.
We’re 18 years old and getting off this plane will be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I found The One too early and my heart is slowly being torn out of my chest, vessel by vessel.
Finding The One too early is wanting the be the pilot of the plane, but never reaching the cockpit. He is The One and we can’t reach the cockpit.
I understand the phrase “he gets me” now more than I ever could. It is possible that no one will understand the conceit of this article or the long-winded description of our Carl and Ellie love. If you found The One too early or you are The One who arrived too early, though, you’ll understand at the landing.
This is how it feels to find him too early, and it changes you forever.