We’ve all been there: You’re doing some Instagram stalking at 1 am, your finger stutters the slightest bit, and you see the red heart quickly pop up. You just liked someone’s Instagram from 46 weeks ago. Whether it’s an ex, an enemy, or just a person you don’t know too well, it’s always the end of the world at this point. Your heart starts to beat ten times too fast and the five stages begin. The five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the dignity we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling:
1. Denial
Your heart drops and you start to sweat. You sit there for a good 10 seconds in disbelief. “No no, the heart was already red….right? I definitely already liked this picture.”
2. Anger
*Texts group chat* “Guys I’m having a midlife crisis. I just liked his picture from 34 weeks ago. How could I be so dumb? Why do I have a pointer finger that goddamn twitches?!!!! SOS.”
3. Bargaining
“What if I just unlike it?” NOPE. Sadly, the notification will greet them in the morning. “What if I just erase my instagram and make a new one? Then can they still see I liked it? What if I just go on a liking rampage and say my little sister did it????”
4. Depression
The hardest stage of all. You slip into a deep depression for hours and wonder if you can ever go on with life. You are a disappointment to yourself.
5. Acceptance
This may take months, maybe even years, but I promise you it will happen. There’s absolutely nothing you can do and you’ll never know if the picture was liked already, so it’s time to let it go. But, your stalking days will never be over.
Although this was a tough thing to come to terms with, experiencing this loss (many times) was essential to finding myself. Learning to accept my awful mistakes and move on has helped me to become a stronger person in every way imaginable.
