I know all of my friends have heard me say it over, and over again: “I need to find my happy.” I like to think of it as a personal catch phrase. So what exactly is a “happy” and where can you find one? Well, after searching in all the wrong places (some more than once), I think I have finally figured it out.

Every person thinks of their “happy” as something different. Some may think of it as love; some may see it as success; others believe it is beauty; and quite a few think it comes from others. Do I believe that these things make you happy? Absolutely. But the only problem is- what happens when it’s gone?

LOVE. What a beautiful thing to be blessed with in this world. People who are in love are always smiling and giddy. You may see someone who is in love and think to yourself “look how happy he or she is.” Thus creating the false perception of believing that love can make you that happy as well. I am not saying that being in love or love in itself cannot make you happy because it can. I’ve experienced it first hand, but the same problem still remains- what happens when the love that’s been making you so happy isn’t there anymore?

SUCCESS. Anyone that knows me knows that this is what I considered my happy for the longest time (and sometimes still do). Success can be a variety of things: good grades, big paychecks, admired careers, and a big one is winning. I mean who doesn’t want straight A’s, a million dollars, and to be a doctor? (Sounds like Meredith Grey in a nutshell) What I came to realize is that, success only made me happy because of the recognition I received from others. It became a competition. I would want to brag about the things I have accomplished like doing good on a test, but the next time around if things didn’t go as well I would walk around with my tail between my legs. It was an unstable and unreliable source of happiness, kind of like a rollercoaster. Well, I decided to get off and you should consider it too.

BEAUTY. This one applies mainly to the girls out there, but I’ve seen a few guys depend on this one as well. People want to be society’s view of “beautiful”, which could entail a few or all of the following: Clear skin, perfect hair & makeup, hot body, stylish clothes, being envied by others. These are all physical traits that some people go to extreme measures to acquire. Why? So other people will tell their friends who will tell their friends how “hot” you are? I am truly sorry that society has made us all believe that we need to be the cookie-cutter version of beautiful to even feel a little confident about ourselves.

OTHER PEOPLE. I am sure that those of you reading this realized that the above three things listed all related in one way: they all involved other people. Whether it be someone for you to love or someone to love you; the other people in your class who didn’t make the highest grade in the class; or maybe the girl (or guy) that everyone talks about because they aren’t pretty enough or skinny enough. It’s ridiculous that we let other people determine our OWN happiness!

So how did I find MY happiness?

Well, I’ve been in love and I’ve been heart broken. I’ve made the highest grade in the class and I’ve been amongst the people about to fail. I’ve been told that I was beautiful and I’ve been spoken about as being “not even that pretty”. I’ve had an army of people standing behind that had my back and I’ve stood alone. But one day it clicked, and I finally realized where to look to find my “happy”.

HAPPINESS LIES WITHIN YOURSELF.

LOVE YOURSELF.

BE YOUR OWN TYPE OF SUCCESSFUL.

REALIZE THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE & OUT.

THE ONLY OPINION THAT MATTERS IS THE ONE YOU HAVE OF YOURSELF.

God created each person individually for a reason. How boring would this world be if we were all the same? Start with accepting who you truly are, and then embrace it. It doesn’t happen overnight, it takes a long time (trust me I know). But once you finally decide to look past everything on the outside and look within yourself, the feeling is amazing.

Here is where you should take advantage of the phrase “just do you”. Because seriously, you should. It’s okay to be single, without straight A’s, hair in a mess wearing sweatpants while you watch Netflix at home by yourself. It’s okay as long as YOU are happy, and you very well should be. Every person in this world deserves to at least be happy.

So here is where you make a choice, life is full of choices. But I hope that you choose happiness. I did and it rocks.