For my entire life, I had always been relatively shy, quiet, and just generally introverted. I got flustered easily and was quite sensitive, and I couldn't really wrap my head around the fact that it was also possible to be the exact opposite of this. Come Freshman year of college, I was thrust into a much more social lifestyle, and had no choice but to partake in it. I was fortunate enough to find myself part of a solid group of friends relatively quickly, and these friends remained consistent for the entirety of the year. I think that because of this, I mistakenly believed I had become extroverted when really the fact that I was being so much more social was literally just because I was now in college.

I went into college with the assumption that it would automatically, magically make me more extroverted, and realistically this doesn't make sense. You yourself need to make changes and alter certain ways of thinking in order to progress towards this goal- it isn't something that happens overnight, and it certainly isn't something that happens if you don't do anything to encourage and embrace it.

At the end of Freshman year, I went home for the summer with a lot on my mind. I had yet to figure out where I stood with someone who was one of my best friends at the time, and I was uncertain of what the next year would bring in terms of friend situations. Having the entire summer away from all of these people who were on my mind forced me to return to myself and find my center. Being in college, even only for one year, definitely does change you as a person, and I realized over that summer that I had very much matured and grown, even if it was just in ways that only I could recognize. This growth allowed me to reflect on my conflicts, specifically the conflict I was dealing with regarding a friend, in ways I hadn't previously been able to. I realized that there now existed within me a certain determination and willpower that hadn't been there before, and even more so I had much more of an inherent respect for myself. Looking at everything in retrospect, I was able to distinguish between relationships that were two-sided, as they should be and relationships where I was putting in a considerable amount of effort and getting nothing back. Once I made this distinction, I was able to better see where my priorities should lie, and what I should no longer have my heart set on.

So, I made my decision and I cut off the people I felt needed to be cut off. In doing this, I really became in tune with myself, and it was a feeling I don't think I had ever really experienced. I felt a new sense of freedom, and truly it was just because I was finally doing what was best for me. I owed that to myself, and I was finally going through with it. I stopped reaching out to people who never reached out to me first, and I stopped running myself dry trying to save and figure out friendships that were confusing me and stressing me out more than they ever should have. When I chose to stop focusing on these people, I chose to start focusing on myself again, and it became clear to me that I hadn't been giving myself enough credit.

It is absolutely incredible what happens when you eliminate people who make you feel poorly and start focusing your energy on the positive people in your life- the ones who raise you up, support your goals, motivate you, and value you just as much as you value them. Once I made this change in my life, I was instantly flooded with a rush of relief and happiness. It was such a good feeling to be surrounded only by people who wanted the best for me just as much as I did for them, and I was really proud of myself for having finally reached this point.

I cannot stress enough how vital this is for anyone, and I encourage everybody to identify any and all unnecessary sources of toxicity in your life. The results will be worth the challenge.

At that point in time, I was on cloud nine, and I remained on cloud nine coming into my Sophomore year. As I am writing this, I am still happier than ever.

I did not even realize how much this journey had changed me until I came back to campus this past August, and began to find myself just doing things instead of overthinking them and ultimately deciding against them. I started to find it much easier to get comfortable around people, and much easier to find people I was comfortable with. I also found that group settings no longer intimidated me in the slightest, whereas in the past, I found them to be overwhelming and stressful, and I always went into group situations with apprehension because I was unsure of where to go or who to talk to. Now, I go into group settings with the intention of interacting with as many new people as possible, because branching out and connecting with people I haven't previously interacted with is something I hold as valuable. There are so many interesting, incredible people in the world. In fact, there are too many interesting and incredible people in the world to not take advantage of the opportunities you have to meet and talk to these people. More often than not, you will walk about with a slew of new friends, and thus a whole bunch of friendly faces to say hello to when you pass each other around campus, on the sidewalk, or around town.

By and large, changing my perspective on what relationships I should and shouldn't be putting energy into changing my perspective on people as a whole, and because of that, I am a much more outgoing, confident, and extroverted person, and I have never been happier with who I am and how far I've come.