How Hookup Culture Promotes Rape Culture

How Hookup Culture Promotes Rape Culture

An unfortunate truth we need to acknowledge.
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So I recently stumbled upon an article that disturbed and intrigued me called, "It's a Hookup Culture, Not a Rape Culture." At first, I was outraged. I wanted to find the author, shake him, and scream "HOW CAN YOU BE SO IGNORANT?" But then, I read his article. And while I do not agree with him, I found that I could meet him halfway. His argument that rape culture does not exist and what we perceive to be it is actually hookup culture is, in my opinion, wrong. However, I will say that after reading his article and thinking about hookup culture in more depth, I truly believe that hookup culture directly influences rape culture. And so long as it exists, so will rape culture.

After I read his article I realized that he was not alone in his belief that rape culture does not exist. Many other articles have been written expressing a similar view. However, the claim all of these articles give is that rape culture cannot exist in America because there are penalties for rape. This is correct. However, it is also correct that 97 percent of rapists receive no punishment. It is correct that the media has taken sides in rape cases, such as the case of Steubenville where various news sites showed sympathy towards the two teenage boys who raped an unconscious girl. So yes, the USA has laws against rape. And yet somehow the rape victims are still shamed and made to look like the criminal. Thus, creating a rape culture. However, rape culture is not an excuse for a rape, as one article claims. Instead, it just means that we live in a society that does not protect victims of rape and instead makes them feel ashamed.

Now, you might be wondering, well what does hookup culture have to do with it? In the media hookup culture (or casual sex) is portrayed as being a fun wild time where everyone is happy. Many shows and movies promote casual sex with alcohol. Think of American Pie where the guys want to find a drunk girl to loose their virginity to. The issue is that promoting casual sex and drinking promotes rape culture. It promotes the idea that women are objects and if they are really drunk they will be easier to get into bed. It promotes the idea that if a women is unable to consent, that is consent. That not a no is a yes. This needs to be changed. The idea that as a guy you go to a party to find a drunk girl to have sex with needs to change. The fact that this is part of hookup culture is disgusting. Furthermore, women need to know that they don't need to be drunk to be fun. Media portrays women as going wild at parties and being instantly more attractive and fun (example Sisters with Tina Fey and Amy Pohler). It's a vicious cycle of wanting to drink to have fun and then the belief that if a girl is drunk, she is automatically going to consent.

The media also portrays hookup culture as being equally satisfying for men and women. Think of the show Sex and the City where Samantha always orgasms. In real life only 40 percent of women will orgasm during a hookup whereas 75 percent of women will orgasm in a relationship. Those numbers are depressing to say the least. Because of the lack of pleasure for the women this can lead to feeling objectified. And again, this is portrayed in the media. Think back to the last movie/TV show you watched with a sex scene in it. Did it end with the guy orgasming or the girl? You may say both. Have you ever then, seen a sex scene, where the girl came and the man did not? If you have, please let me know, because I certainly have not.

You may wonder what orgasming has to do with rape culture and the answer is simple: it creates the concept that it doesn't matter how the women feels as long as the man is satisfied. If sex ends when the man finishes, and that is all you have been taught, then why would the guy even try to make it good for the girl? Furthermore teaching girls that sex is only over when the guy orgasms tells them that you can't withdraw your consent once you give it, even if you are not enjoying it.

The fact is "90 percent of unwanted sexual encounters took place in the context of a hookup." I'm not saying that casual sex should be condemned. I'm saying that there needs to be equality in what we think of as a hookup. There needs to be a sense that there is mutual consent and mutual enjoyment. Because until we change what we view as a pleasant sexual encounter, how can we change how we view rape? By promoting hooking up under the influence and pleasuring only the men, our society will continue to promote rape culture.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.google.it/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwiFvd3ksunLAhXCOQ8KHcXTCzEQjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.quora.com%2FDo-you-think-we-hype-up-the-hookup-culture-too-much-in-American-universities&bvm=bv.118353311,d.bGg&psig=AFQjCNE0qfDCLJMtK94JLKa9JZN0KkLirA&ust=1459461182229450

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​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.
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Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to 10 people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the 17 other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of 10 times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession — whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half-off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a $40 bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes — as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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Sociolinguistics Series: Part 50

Language is a powerful tool.

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It's part 50--halfway to 100! I'm so glad to still be here writing! In this section, we will talk about Dr. Shikaki's findings on how Palestinians view the state of Israel.

25 years ago, 85% of Palestinians supported a two-state solution. 10 years ago, this number decreased to 70%. Dr. Shikaki believes this was due to an increase in the prominence of Islamism in Palestinian society during the second intifada; Islamists were opposed to the two-state solution. In the most recent survey, the December 2018 one, only 43% of Palestinians supported the two state solution.

In 2000, American President Bill Clinton met with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak and PA Chairman Yasser Arafat at the Camp David Summit to come up with a solution to the conflict. It ended without an agreement, but in December of 2000, Clinton once again proposed a resolution: the Clinton Parameters.

The content of the Parameters basically allowed Israel to annex settlements while Palestine to take 94-96% of the West Bank, as well as Arab neighborhoods in East Jerusalem. There were other guidelines regarding territory, refugees, security, and the end of the conflict. Essentially, the West Bank would have been split up by Israeli roads and settlements--which is kind of the reality today.

Both the Israeli government and Arafat accepted the terms with reservations, and Arafat wrote to Clinton a letter asking for clarifications on the terms. Clinton and Dennis Ross, an envoy of the Parameters, publicized that Arafat had refused to accept the terms; they painted Palestinians in a negative light, saying that Israel wanted to accept the peace negotiations but Palestine did not.

American Lawyer Robert Malley was at the Camp David Summit and oversaw parts of the Clinton Parameters. In 2001, he said that three myths had come out of the failure of both negotiations, and that these three myths were dangerous to any future peace processes if people kept believing in them.

These myths are as follows: "Camp David was an ideal test of Mr. Arafat's intentions," "Israel's offer met most if not all of the Palestinians' legitimate aspirations," and "The Palestinians made no concession of their own."

He said that these three statements were not true but very heavily publicized by America and Israel after the negotiations failed; rather, there is more nuance to each of these issues, and America and Israel have just as much responsibility in the failure of the Summit and Parameters as Palestine did. Malley wrote, "If peace is to be achieved, the parties cannot afford to tolerate the growing acceptance of these myths as reality."

Anyway, what does this have to do with Dr. Shikaki? He polled Palestinians not only on the their attitudes to the two-state solution, but the Clinton Parameters as well. 25 years ago, there was 60% support for the Clinton Parameters by Palestinians, but the June 2018 poll showed that the number had gone down to 37%.

The last ten years shows a significant decrease in public support for both the two-state solution and the Clinton Parameters, and it could be a result of disagreeing with specific parts of the proposals (such as how the Temple Mount/Dome of the Rock or Jerusalem is delegated).

I did some further digging when I got home, and I found this data from the UN Division for Palestinian Rights website:

"A 25 December [2000] published poll found that 48% of the 501 Israelis questioned were opposed to the proposals; 57% would object to Palestinian control of the Al-Aqsa Mosque compound; 72% were against even a limited return of Palestinian refugees to Israel. A 29 December published poll found that 56% of the Israelis would oppose a peace agreement reached on the basis of the Parameters."

This shows that though public media--especially Western media--may have painted the Palestinian government as the villain (and Israel and America as the "victims"), the proposals accepted by either government had varied support among its people.

The Israeli civilian population did not want to accept the Clinton Parameters because of the way certain things would be resolved; their reservations lie with the Temple Mount/Al-Aqsa Mosque because the Temple Mount, which is the holiest site in the world for Jews, would have been given to Palestine, while Jews would have control of the Western Wall of the Temple Mount (which is the status quo).

In addition, there was a section in the Clinton Parameters that dealt with the right of return for Palestinians, where there would be a certain number of Palestinian refugees who settled in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, while other Palestinians either would become citizens of their host countries, move to a third-party country, or settle back into the land that is Israel Proper (with permission from the Israeli government, of course); many Israelis did not support this.

That was the public opinion years ago. Today, there is even less support for these proposals. Dr. Shikaki outlined three issues as reasons for a decrease in support of compromise, which we will cover in the next section. Stay tuned!

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