How Hookup Culture Promotes Rape Culture

How Hookup Culture Promotes Rape Culture

An unfortunate truth we need to acknowledge.
243
views

So I recently stumbled upon an article that disturbed and intrigued me called, "It's a Hookup Culture, Not a Rape Culture." At first, I was outraged. I wanted to find the author, shake him, and scream "HOW CAN YOU BE SO IGNORANT?" But then, I read his article. And while I do not agree with him, I found that I could meet him halfway. His argument that rape culture does not exist and what we perceive to be it is actually hookup culture is, in my opinion, wrong. However, I will say that after reading his article and thinking about hookup culture in more depth, I truly believe that hookup culture directly influences rape culture. And so long as it exists, so will rape culture.

After I read his article I realized that he was not alone in his belief that rape culture does not exist. Many other articles have been written expressing a similar view. However, the claim all of these articles give is that rape culture cannot exist in America because there are penalties for rape. This is correct. However, it is also correct that 97 percent of rapists receive no punishment. It is correct that the media has taken sides in rape cases, such as the case of Steubenville where various news sites showed sympathy towards the two teenage boys who raped an unconscious girl. So yes, the USA has laws against rape. And yet somehow the rape victims are still shamed and made to look like the criminal. Thus, creating a rape culture. However, rape culture is not an excuse for a rape, as one article claims. Instead, it just means that we live in a society that does not protect victims of rape and instead makes them feel ashamed.

Now, you might be wondering, well what does hookup culture have to do with it? In the media hookup culture (or casual sex) is portrayed as being a fun wild time where everyone is happy. Many shows and movies promote casual sex with alcohol. Think of American Pie where the guys want to find a drunk girl to loose their virginity to. The issue is that promoting casual sex and drinking promotes rape culture. It promotes the idea that women are objects and if they are really drunk they will be easier to get into bed. It promotes the idea that if a women is unable to consent, that is consent. That not a no is a yes. This needs to be changed. The idea that as a guy you go to a party to find a drunk girl to have sex with needs to change. The fact that this is part of hookup culture is disgusting. Furthermore, women need to know that they don't need to be drunk to be fun. Media portrays women as going wild at parties and being instantly more attractive and fun (example Sisters with Tina Fey and Amy Pohler). It's a vicious cycle of wanting to drink to have fun and then the belief that if a girl is drunk, she is automatically going to consent.

The media also portrays hookup culture as being equally satisfying for men and women. Think of the show Sex and the City where Samantha always orgasms. In real life only 40 percent of women will orgasm during a hookup whereas 75 percent of women will orgasm in a relationship. Those numbers are depressing to say the least. Because of the lack of pleasure for the women this can lead to feeling objectified. And again, this is portrayed in the media. Think back to the last movie/TV show you watched with a sex scene in it. Did it end with the guy orgasming or the girl? You may say both. Have you ever then, seen a sex scene, where the girl came and the man did not? If you have, please let me know, because I certainly have not.

You may wonder what orgasming has to do with rape culture and the answer is simple: it creates the concept that it doesn't matter how the women feels as long as the man is satisfied. If sex ends when the man finishes, and that is all you have been taught, then why would the guy even try to make it good for the girl? Furthermore teaching girls that sex is only over when the guy orgasms tells them that you can't withdraw your consent once you give it, even if you are not enjoying it.

The fact is "90 percent of unwanted sexual encounters took place in the context of a hookup." I'm not saying that casual sex should be condemned. I'm saying that there needs to be equality in what we think of as a hookup. There needs to be a sense that there is mutual consent and mutual enjoyment. Because until we change what we view as a pleasant sexual encounter, how can we change how we view rape? By promoting hooking up under the influence and pleasuring only the men, our society will continue to promote rape culture.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.google.it/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwiFvd3ksunLAhXCOQ8KHcXTCzEQjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.quora.com%2FDo-you-think-we-hype-up-the-hookup-culture-too-much-in-American-universities&bvm=bv.118353311,d.bGg&psig=AFQjCNE0qfDCLJMtK94JLKa9JZN0KkLirA&ust=1459461182229450

Popular Right Now

I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your protest picket signs and I’ll raise my white picket fence.
363057
views

Social Media feeds are constantly filled with quotes on women's rights, protests with mobs of women, and an array of cleverly worded picket signs.

Good for them, standing up for their beliefs and opinions. Will I be joining my tight-knit family of the same gender?

Nope, no thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be oblivious to my history and the advancements that women have fought to achieve. I am aware that the strides made by many women before me have provided us with voting rights, a voice, equality, and equal pay in the workforce.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Who Would Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

For that, I am deeply thankful. But at this day in age, I know more female managers in the workforce than male. I know more women in business than men. I know more female students in STEM programs than male students. So what’s with all the hype? We are girl bosses, we can run the world, we don’t need to fight the system anymore.

Please stop.

Because it is insulting to the rest of us girls who are okay with being homemakers, wives, or stay-at-home moms. It's dividing our sisterhood, and it needs to stop.

All these protests and strong statements make us feel like now we HAVE to obtain a power position in our career. It's our rightful duty to our sisters. And if we do not, we are a disappointment to the gender and it makes us look weak.

Weak to the point where I feel ashamed to say to a friend “I want to be a stay at home mom someday.” Then have them look at me like I must have been brain-washed by a man because that can be the only explanation. I'm tired of feeling belittled for being a traditionalist.

Why?

Because why should I feel bad for wanting to create a comfortable home for my future family, cooking for my husband, being a soccer mom, keeping my house tidy? Because honestly, I cannot wait.

I will have no problem taking my future husband’s last name, and following his lead.

The Bible appoints men to be the head of a family, and for wives to submit to their husbands. (This can be interpreted in so many ways, so don't get your panties in a bunch at the word “submit”). God specifically made women to be gentle and caring, and we should not be afraid to embrace that. God created men to be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family.

However, in no way does this mean that the roles cannot be flipped. If you want to take on the responsibility, by all means, you go girl. But for me personally? I'm sensitive, I cry during horror movies, I'm afraid of basements and dark rooms. I, in no way, am strong enough to take on the tasks that men have been appointed to. And I'm okay with that.

So please, let me look forward to baking cookies for bake sales and driving a mom car.

And I'll support you in your endeavors and climb to the top of the corporate ladder. It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

No, I'm Not A Feminist, But I'd Like To Say A Couple Things

Too many questions are continuing to be unanswered.

133
views

Women are seen as vulnerable and weak. They are expected to appear socially acceptable to society. Women with curves and thicker bodies are less desired because of how social media objectifies women.

If we dress too "sexy" or "revealing", we are seen as "distracting" or "asking for it". While, wearing comfortable clothes such as sweatpants or a hoodie, we seem unappealing. If we wear too much makeup we come off as "fake", but too little means we aren't trying, and have no interest. Our hair is expected to be well groomed and taken care of.

Messiness comes off as disgusting and unattractive. It gives off they idea that we don't take care of ourselves. Women are constantly judged by their appearance. Even the way we speak gives off an impression that is immediately dissected. Our actions are being watched. Women cannot laugh too hard or speak too loud. They cannot eat too much, or too little. And don't have babies young but don't have them after thirty because that's too old.

Why is it that women are constantly worrying about how they appear to people in society.?

What about women in the workforce? There is a bias on what jobs women should and should not work. Salaries? Men will start off with a higher pay than women. Why? Because women are underestimated. Do you remember in elementary or middle school when the teacher would ask, "Can I have a couple strong boys help carry this?" Exactly.

Why is it that women are encouraged to walk with a group of friends at night, or make sure they have pepper spray on them? Women are more likely to get sexually assaulted, beaten, or have something stolen from them than men are...depending on the area. No women should have the fear that a man will attack her. But in today's society, anything can happen. That is why women are more cautious.

Like I said, I'm not a feminist. But, I do believe in justice for women. For equality.

Related Content

Facebook Comments