Hipsters -- the hip tier of society. They have often become the butt of jokes that emphasize the phrase, “Those damn hipsters.” But what characterizes a hipster? After extensive research, which comprised of mostly looking in the mirror and in my room, I have compiled an exhaustive list of the nine things that will portray you as a hipster. So I deeply apologize, but the universe will not allow you to be a hipster unless you have these nine things. Are you hip enough?

1. Flannels and Beanies

Your closet must consist of rows of flannels that you got from thrift stores and a beautiful assortment of beanies. It does not matter if they don’t fit or if you don’t wear them anymore because, the larger your collection, the higher your hip status.

2. Piercings and Tattoos

Yes, bills are important, but are lights really necessary when you could spend your money on that sick tattoo you saw on Pinterest the other day? Or get yet another facial piercing so that your Grandma starts calling you the “Jewelry Store?"

3. Vegetarian/Vegan

Person: “Why are you vegetarian?” Hipster: “Umm, because I want to be cool… and to save the cows…” That is until they are drunk off IPAs at 2:00 a.m. on a Friday night and order a hamburger at McDonald's. So maybe the correct title should actually be, “A Sober Vegetarian.”

4. Polaroid Camera

Never mind the fact that the film is eighteen dollars a pop, and you have to pray to five different gods before taking the picture that you will look good. But, it looks damn good on the ‘gram… so… #WorthIt

5. Record Player

Okay, arguably record players are the best type of music systems because not only are they hypnotizing as they spin in circles, but also force you to get up and flip the vinyl when the tracks stop playing to keep you active (so you can fit in those skinny jeans).

6. Band Posters and Tapestries

Your room is your haven. And walls are forbidden. Therefore, they must be completely covered with band posters (of people you hardly know) and tapestries (you spent way too much money on). Any exposed spaces is a sign of weakness --god forbid!

7. Stickers and Buttons

You are not allowed to have a backpack unless it's covered in buttons, and you're not allowed to have a laptop or water bottle unless it's covered by stickers. These are rules. They must be followed.

8. Aesthetically Pleasing Instagram

There must be a theme and of course, a color coordination. It is a strategic process, so yes, those three hours of editing and drafting your caption are completely necessary for maintaining your social status.

9. World Peace

Love and peace to all and everyone. Okay but actually, some peace would be pretty great in the world’s current situation… So maybe this one shouldn’t be reserved just for the flannel-wearing and sticker-loving folks.