How To Handle A New Chapter In Your Life

How To Handle A New Chapter In Your Life

Before you breakdown, think of it this way.
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I'm talking about the second definition.

"Holy sh*t," you may think. "This is actually happening."

In my experience, I have realized that we are always getting excited about the next part of our lives. As younger kids, we insist that no, we're not just five. We're five and a half. As nine-year-olds, we are itching to reach double digits. As middle schoolers, we want to be in high school. As high schoolers, we want to get away and head off to college...but, then that day happens.

I remember it like it was a semester ago...cause it was.

The day is September 3rd, 2017.

My parents and I packed the car up to the brim with my bedding, my dorm decorations, my books, food, and so much more. The car was jam packed but nothing compared to what was going on inside my head. Granted I don't live too far away from my school. In fact, it was only about an hour and a half drive, and also probably the eighth time I would be driving to that campus (I visited an excessive amount of times). But I was spiraling and just miserable.

Now I needed support and decided the only solution was to head to social media.

Why the internet? I have no idea. I never had a ton of friends/ followers on Instagram, but I just allowed myself to rant. I spoke about how much I'm going to miss everyone I've become close with at home, how scared I am to meet new people, and how I would miss having alone time in a familiar place.

And someone responded, to my surprise.

I'm not going to mention her name, but it really helped me. But it also got me thinking about some stuff.

No matter where I am, what milestone I am about to achieve, what item off my bucket list I'm soon going to cross off my list, I am always filled with this immense amount of anxiety and stress.

My heart pounds, my palm sweat, I start breathing really heavily, and I can't sleep...like ever.

AND IT HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME

It happened when I went to Israel in eighth grade...but I survived.

It happened when I was starting high school...but I made it out alive.

It happened when I think people are mad at me...but most of the time it is irrational, and I get over it.

It happened when I started seeing a therapist/ social worker because of the stigmas surrounding it...but I got over it and learned to help myself.

It happened when the concept of college research was first introduced to me in the tenth grade...but I love college now.

It happened on April 29th, when I had to pick a school to go to...and I made the right choice.

It happened when I did R Factor...but I survived it and conquered a big fear.

It happened when I decided to come home for the first time on the train and got lost...but I found my way home.

It's happening now, as I worry for my second semester...but I will get over it.

The point is: I've survived every sort of new chapter of my life that scared me.

How I did it, however, is the question.

1. I got advice and help from some very special, very helpful, and very important people in my life

I've learned that the goal is to surround with people who bring you up, not down.

2. I learned coping strategies

When dealing with stressful events, using breathing to your advantage, or distracting yourself by doing something less stressful, like coloring, can really benefit you.

3. I've learned (and am still learning) to put things into perspective

Let's face it, no one is perfect, especially me. But, what I do know is that if this worry is in good taste, like if you're worried about a new job, then that's completely normal -- everyone is nervous on their first day of work. I've had the same summer job for three summers already, but still, I get nervous every year. Point being, stressing out is okay. Having it interfere with everyday living is not okay, that's when you need to refer to the first thing on this list. Rule of thumb: if it won't matter in 10 years, it shouldn't matter for 10 minutes.

4. I realized that this is a vicious cycle that my brain does to me.

It's happened before and it will happen again. I'm still going to digress, but deep down I know everything will be okay.

5. You look at the fears dead and the eye and say, "I'm not scared of you."

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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10 Things I Threw Out AFTER Freshman Year Of College

Guess half the stuff on your packing list doesn't really matter
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I spent the entire summer before my freshman year of college so WORRIED.

I also spent most of my money that summer on miscellaneous dorm stuff. I packed the car when the time finally came to move in, and spent the drive up excited and confused about what the heck was actually going on.

Freshman year came and went, and as I get ready to go back to school in just a few short weeks (!!), I'm starting to realize there's just a whole bunch of crap I just don't need.

After freshman year, I threw out:

1. Half my wardrobe.

I don't really know what I was thinking of owning 13 sweaters and 25 T-shirts in the first place. I wear the same five T-shirts until I magically find a new one that I probably got for free, and I put on jeans maybe four times. One pair is enough.

2. Half my makeup.

Following in the theme of #1, if I put on makeup, it's the same eyeliner-mascara combination as always. Sometimes I spice it up and add lipstick or eyeshadow.

3. My vacuum.

https://secure.img1-ag.wfcdn.com/im/d5ea3c03/resize-h2000-p1-w2000%5Ecompr-r85/3021/30217778/Express+6+Volt+Cordless+Bagless+Handheld+Vacuum.jpg

One, I basically never did it. Two, if I REALLY needed to vacuum, dorms rent out cleaning supplies.

4. Most of my photos from high school.

I didn't throw them ALL away, but most of them won't be making a return to college. Things change, people change, your friends change. And that's okay.

5. Excess school supplies.

Binders are heavy and I am lazy. I surprisingly didn't lose that many pens, so I don't need the fifty pack anymore. I could probably do without the crayons.

6. Cups/Plates/Bowls/Silverware.

Again, I am lazy. I cannot be bothered to wash dishes that often. I'll stick to water bottles and maybe one coffee cup. Paper plates/bowls can always be bought, and plastic silverware can always be stolen from different places on campus.

7. Books.

I love to read, but I really don't understand why I thought I'd have the time to actually do it. I think I read one book all year, and that's just a maybe.

8. A sewing kit.

I don't even know how to sew.

9. Excessive decorations.

It's nice to make your space feel a little more cozy, but not every inch of the wall needs to be covered.

10. Throw pillows.

At night, these cute little pillows just got tossed to the floor, and they'd sit there for days if I didn't make my bed.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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I'm Not The Person I Was In High School And I'm Not Sorry I Changed

I'm sorry, the old me can't come to the phone right now.

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If those who knew me in high school hung out with me now, they probably wouldn't recognize me. If my friends from college hung out with me around two years ago, they probably wouldn't recognize me. It's safe to say I've changed... a lot. I definitely find the change to be for the better and I couldn't be happier with the person I've become

In high school, I would sit at home every night anxiously waiting to leave and go out. Now, honestly, going out is the last thing I want to do any night of the week. While everyone in college is at a fraternity party or at the bars, I prefer to sit at home on the couch, watching Netflix with my boyfriend. That's an ideal night for me and it is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do a couple of years ago. There's nothing wrong with going out and partying, it's just not what I want to do anymore.

I craved attention in high school. I went to the parties and outings so I could be in Snapchats and photos, just so people would know I was there. I hung out with certain groups of people just so I could say I was "friends" with so-and-so who was so very popular. I wanted to be known and I wanted to be cool.

Now, I couldn't care less. I go to the bars or the parties if I really feel like it or if my friends make me feel bad enough for never going anywhere that I finally decide to show up. It's just not my scene anymore and I no longer worry about missing out.

If you could look back at me during my junior year of high school, you probably would've found me searching for the best-ranked party schools and colleges with the best nearby clubs or bars. Now, you can find me eating snacks on the couch on a Friday night watching the parties through other peoples' Snapchats.

Some may say that I'm boring now, and while I agree that my life is a little less adventurous now than it was in high school, I don't regret the lifestyle changes I've made. I feel happier, I feel like a better person, I feel much more complete. I'm not sorry that I've changed since high school and I'm not sorry that I'm not living the typical "college lifestyle." I don't see anything wrong with that life, it's just not what makes me happy and it's not what I want to do anymore.

I've become a different person since high school and I couldn't be happier about it. I have a lot that's contributed to the change, but my boyfriend definitely was the main factor as he showed me that staying in can be a million times better than a night out. My interests and my social cravings have completely transitioned into that of an 80-year-old grandma, but I don't regret it.

Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can bring a lot more happiness and comfort. The transition from high school to college is drastic, but you can also use it as an opportunity to transition from one lifestyle to another. I don't regret the lifestyle flip I made and I couldn't be less apologetic about it.

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