Over the past five years or so I really struggled to find myself and who I was as a person. In high school, I lost my friendship with my best friend of 12 years, and many others, because I was too wrapped up in my current boyfriend at the time. I was so unhappy with myself and how my life was going. I was very insecure and very lost. I did anything I could to fit in and feel accepted by those around me. I constantly followed the crowd, and I wasn’t my own person. I was afraid to be myself because I didn’t want my peers to judge me or think I was the weird girl that no one wanted to hang out with. I was scared as to how others would label me.
Fast forward about five years and my life is completely different. Being on my own at college, without anyone who knew me from back home, made me realize that I could have a fresh start. I could finally start being the person I’ve always wanted to be, the person I am. No one had any clue as to the person I was in high school and that made me so happy. I eventually started to find my way and my place in this messed up world; I started to find who I am as an individual. I began acting like my old self again, the girl that my best friend of 12 years always told me who I was. And that girl is a much stronger, happier, and kinder person than I was in high school.
Looking back on my high school years, I recognized that I never enjoyed anything because I was holding back who I truly was. Once I found myself, I started becoming happier and everything started to fall into place. I was doing very well in school, I discovered that I love to paint and draw, I made new friends, I found the love of my life, and my best friend of 12 years became my now best friend of 15 years and counting.
With this all being said, I recently had to do a creative project based on the question, "who am I?" When looking up ideas I came across a picture depicting labels from my favorite show, "One Tree Hill." Well I decided to take my own little twist on it. I decided to show how society labels not just me, but specifically girls my age. I then did another picture of how I see myself, including different qualities about me as well as things that I enjoy. The overall purpose of my project is to show that society can label us all they want, but it’s how we see ourselves that really matters.
The past three years at college made me realize that it’s okay to be weird, it’s okay to be different, and it’s okay to stand out. That’s what makes you unique; it’s what makes you, you. People will judge you, make fun of you, and put you down as much as they can along the way. That’s life. People are always going to label you. It’s how you overcome those labels that define who you truly are.
So if you are struggling to find yourself, or you’re too afraid to be who you truly are like I was, it’s okay. It takes time; it took me years to find myself. Heck, I still am developing who I am as a person, and I always will be. The difference between who I am now and who I was then is that I believe in myself and what I do. Do I still have days where I am very insecure about myself and who I am, what I look like, or how I act? Yes, of course. But my good days outweigh my bad days, and they always will.
