I remember when I was in high school and I was "happy." To be "happy," I needed the newest clothes, had be invited to all of the best parties, and needed to post the coolest pictures of my wild times on Instagram. Then, I went to college and I was "happy." I had to have pretty friends, go to all of the best bars, and make sure that I snapchatted every moment of it, just to prove how "happy" I really was. These things, this "happiness," it was all superficial. I had let them define who I was as a person. For years, I had willingly allowed my happiness to be characterized by how I appeared, not by how I felt.
I can tell you the exact moment when it hit me. I was on a catamaran on my last day in Mexico with my three best friends. I'm sure that you're thinking, "Who couldn't be happy?" You're so very wrong. My boyfriend had broken up with me the week before and, at the time, it was all that I could think about, even in a foreign country. As I looked out at the endless ocean, a real, genuine smile spread across my face for the first time. I realized how big this world is and that I, just a speck in the Caribbean Sea, had so much more to see of it. Perhaps a week, a month, or a year from now, this break up would hold no significance to me. However, I knew for sure that my happiness would no long be reliant on the status of my relationship. The only person who can make you happy is you.
On that boat along the shores of Cancun, I finally fell in love with with the one thing that is the most important: myself. Happiness is not about what you have or even who you are with, it is about being at peace with the person who you are and the person who you are becoming. It is about being content with your actions and satisfied with the people and things that you choose to invest your time in. Perhaps most importantly, it is about knowing your worth. It is about feeling beautiful on the outside and feeling beautiful on the inside. It is about feeling at home in your own skin.
It does not take a vacation, but a realization. For you, it could be at the grocery store or on a train. It could be in you backyard or in your sleep. Happiness can be found in the most minute, unexpected places. It does not lie in material possessions. Happiness is self-acceptance. Happiness is truly loving who you are. Happiness is growth. Happiness is the realization that joy does not stem from others, it stems from within yourself. Happiness is knowing that you cannot expect love from another person before you have learned to love yourself, as that is the most important love of all. In regards to relationships, for the right person, I think that everyone has a lot to offer. However, more importantly, I know I have a lot to offer myself.
"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” - Abraham Lincoln
