Well gang, we made it. We've made it to Christmas break, and now we can become lazy. If you're not working, go ahead and binge watch that series! If you're working, then I guess you shouldn't be lazy. That's not the point of this article, I promise.
We've read numerous articles of how to survive finals and the three weeks after Thanksgiving break. However, there hasn't been an article where they tell you what happens after finals. So I'm going to try my best and show you how English Majors are after their finals and essays.
First and foremost, we don't like math. Its not a subject that we excel in, nor our favorite subject. We also can't math. Yes, you heard it right. We can't math. We tried, with calculators, getting help, but we still can't math. We even second guess ourselves when it comes to calculating a percent off, and rely on our phones.
You're wondering why I'm telling you, aren't you? The reason why is because, behind our essays, piles beyond piles of poetry and books, we're quite human. When we're tired, we don't make any sense. When our brains are fried, its basically the same deal.
Most people think that we're smart and could smack you down in an argument. Or be very rude about everything you've been saying about a certain subject.
Okay, yes we are smart, we can smack you down in an argument and be very rude.That's if you have a room full of English majors together and we're extremely tired. We're rather nice people and don't bite. Although, when it comes to finals, we're not and we do bite.
1. We want to watch Netflix all day and lie to ourselves that its totally normal to do so.
Which, during the break, it is since we have nothing to do and need to give ourselves a mental day off.
2. Whenever we're surrounded by other English majors, we end up talking gibberish.
We all know that talk, but we don't understand what each other is trying to say. Especially whenever we don't get sleep. Also, please don't ask us to repeat ourselves, its not worth it.
3. When someone asks us a simple question, we don't know the answer. Just, stop asking us the question because we won't ever get the answer.
Might as well get the same price of one, right?
4. Whenever you hear someone say something like, 'I can't Math', it becomes your motto. Really, you use it all the time because its true.
Also, its not your major at all. Also, you're a strong Independent English Major and you don't need no math.
5. Sometimes you become a Hermit over the break, because lets be honest. You've socialized enough over the course of fall semester. Also, you turn to books that you can actually enjoy without the pressure of writing an analysis on it or even present it in front of the class.
Its also a good excuse to not socialize with your family members who always ask if you're single still. Let's put those questions to rest, yeah?
6. We accept whatever grade on an essay, because we're done. We don't want to do anymore work, we're on Christmas break. Meaning, we don't want to hear that we have things to do. Also, we get to go home!
Where our beds are waiting for us to come back too and welcome us with open arms.
7. We can go movie premieres without feeling like we have to punish ourselves afterwards when we get home.
So we're rewarding ourselves by eating popcorn and watching the latest movie.
10. We also can get away with having breakfast at different times of the day.
Because why not??
11. Also, we can take a nap without worrying about having so much things to do.
Which is sweet relief, because honestly. We would always take a nap instead of doing our essays.
12. When we see an email about next semester charges already, we run. I mean, run for the hills and never coming back.
We're on a break for a reason, school. We're ready to be separated from you for at least a month.
There's a lot more things that happen to English majors after finals, which I will get to next semester, but until then I guess you will have to build up suspense. Please respect your fellow English Majors, we can't function properly and we would need at least five days to engage in conversations about the next semester.
Honestly,
Especially on Winter Break.
